Feel really, really spent. Need to find time for a lot more movement and some strength training.
My overall level of emotional energy is very rapidly exceeding the body's ability to keep up. Too used to lethargy.
Conversation
Really strange to go from struggling to sustain effort to having a constantly growing will to do more.
The more I do, the more I want to do more. And it's unbelievably fun, but very taxing.
2
14
Replying to
Have you started doing something differently? I could really use a bit more of this.
3
This Tweet was deleted by the Tweet author. Learn more
I just let that happen for a while, and I realized I could absorb myself totally in some activities.
Body now starts getting powerful urges to stretch, flex/relax muscles, make odd, sinuous movements seemingly at random.
2
6
Then gradually metta, a practice that has never worked well for me before, starts working.
I am able to produce this powerful sensation of love in the body. It often arises spontaneously, especially when listening to Lana Del Rey?!?
Love sensations turn inwards. I started having flashbacks. Times I was hurt, neglected, traumatized in some way. These feelings dissolve into the love.
Around this time, I develop a tendency to start dancing at random. Dancing and singing. Deep joy fills me when I do this.
1
13
Then - strongly not recommended step, but it happened so I'll mention it - some very traumatic things happen to me.
Aftewards, I start getting rage, grief, fear. But I'm still in this state of deep emotional engagement. Horror sets in. I can't escape the feelings.
1
7
Show replies
Replying to
Huh.
Kundalini... Wasn't as big a thing as it was supposed to be but my attention has been sort of scattered by trying to fix my body and brain at the same time.
I do need to do more of this kind of thing. Going to wait until I've finished at least one project :P
1
Try not to burn yourself out if the clock strikes K o'clock, I'm glad you're doing metta, and on the slim-to-none chance that you've missed this safety warning - tongue up.
