Basically, I'd walked myself into a trance where a bigger part of conscious bandwidth was detailed to the body's signals.
Is my chest feeling tighter at this pace? Are the muscles getting sorer? Am I breathing faster?
You attend, you attend, you attend. Legs keep walking.
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Eventually, you hit a stride where you know any faster, any harder, any stronger means more ache, shallower breathing, more tightness.
You slip into this space. You walk the very edge of it. You attend. Eventually, you probably find you're speeding up again. You catch up.
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Obviously, not every skill is transferable, but this is more of a meta-skill, answering a simple question - how much can you take?
Not just now, nor for the next five minutes. How much can you really take, if you have to keep taking it?
This answers many, many other questions.
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So it's baffling that you can spend years knowing the ins and outs of a method like this, to the point it still works after years of disuse, and just not use it when you should.
Brains are sometimes very oddly compartmentalized.
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I don't have any real conclusion, here. "I have no point," as ole Wittgenstein would say.
Just wondering what spokes to turn to bring methods that *work* into large areas of life that really, really don't work.
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We already live in a world that obsessively cargo-cults smarts and strength. We admire the smart, we admire the strong. But there is a huge sensitivity gap. Sensitivity is still derided as weakness. From my POV it’s super-clear that this is a massive hole in our collective boat
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Feel like it also connects to this thread, which I was a lot less happy with in terms of clarity or depth. Will have to sit with it some more.
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One odd thing about meditation and various attainments that come up, is that you often only fully appreciate your training in a crisis.
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