Conversation

Walking up a mountain, given my still being in pretty poor (if improving) shape got me thinking about a pretty weird core problem. Relates to the way simple, intuitively straightforward skills are sometimes surprisingly hard to transfer.
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When I get exhausted, say from climbing mountain slopes for an hour, I eventually just give in to the experience. One foot in front of the other, keep walking. One, two, one, two. A well-known phenomenon, of course, "second wind" and all that. But for me, there's more to it.
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I remember being laughed at during PE as I fell behind. I'm not a very fast runner, and I wasn't always in great shape. But eventually, I'd always catch up. Where most people start strong and settle reluctantly into a slower rhythm, I just keep the pace. One, two, one, two.
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So why is it I never learned to pace myself elsewhere, to keep a slow, relentless pace that eventually wins the race? Hell if I know. Sometimes I do, when something really matters. I can keep going through a lot of abuse. But far, far more often, I follow the normal pattern.
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I've always had an annoyingly competitive streak, and will usually only spend time on games where I can win. I know, it's a weakness and a folly, but is what it is. Problem is, I'll play angry, play insensibly, play hurried. Lose, from a lack of discipline. From going too fast.
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So recently I had one game I was playing that I'd frustrate myself with, and struggle with. Spotty record. Good streaks, bad streaks. Then I got fed up and decided only to play when I felt good. Suddenly, 0 losses. Very unusual level of focus. I hit the right pace.
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So it's not just a question of physical endurance. It's a behavioural pattern where I satisfice into the most consistent performance I can manage. In anything. Problem is, I can only access this pattern in a niche range of situations, and constantly fool myself out of it.
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Replying to
Basically, I'd walked myself into a trance where a bigger part of conscious bandwidth was detailed to the body's signals. Is my chest feeling tighter at this pace? Are the muscles getting sorer? Am I breathing faster? You attend, you attend, you attend. Legs keep walking.
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Eventually, you hit a stride where you know any faster, any harder, any stronger means more ache, shallower breathing, more tightness. You slip into this space. You walk the very edge of it. You attend. Eventually, you probably find you're speeding up again. You catch up.
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Obviously, not every skill is transferable, but this is more of a meta-skill, answering a simple question - how much can you take? Not just now, nor for the next five minutes. How much can you really take, if you have to keep taking it? This answers many, many other questions.
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So it's baffling that you can spend years knowing the ins and outs of a method like this, to the point it still works after years of disuse, and just not use it when you should. Brains are sometimes very oddly compartmentalized.
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I don't have any real conclusion, here. "I have no point," as ole Wittgenstein would say. Just wondering what spokes to turn to bring methods that *work* into large areas of life that really, really don't work.
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