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sounds like you are part way in the process and not stuck in a good place. It's generally acknowledged that some parts of the process are shit and that you can get stuck there for long periods.
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there are different insights, obtained thru different means. Getting stuck, however, seems common in meditative processes.
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however, awakening is largely a matter of "letting go". When I let go of thinking of my personality as me, for example (a genuine awakening) it opened up the possibility for a lot of personality change, made me tons happier, etc...
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