Conversation

If you use Ian's awakening model, an awakening is a multi-level understanding with lasting impact. This usually requires different sorts of "understandings" to line up. I.e. you may feel something in the head, in the heart, in the body, believe it, think it... simultaneously.
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In myself, I know there are things I understand intellectually, but struggle to accept emotionally, things I feel that I can't reason with. Etc. One thing that happens a lot in meditation for some people is these sorts of "aha" moments where you have a sudden mini-understanding.
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Sometimes these feel really transformative, but aren't. "Ha, I'll never do that again!" "Oh, now I understand!" Week later, back to normal. One way to model this discrepancy is to say that you haven't understood that thing as well as you thought, because it isn't integrated.
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Maybe you understand, intellectually, that: "This relationship sucks" "This job will kill me" "It doesn't make sense to worry" "I really like cheese" or some other profound insight besides, but the feeling body doesn't see it, and you're not tuned to remember it notionally.
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So you can converse and sound like you have this font of self-knowledge, but when it comes time to just act in the real world, you: Don't deal with the relationship. Don't find a new job. Don't stop worrying. Don't buy cheese. Don't stop suffering. And so on.
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Here's a few fun things I've learned to do with meditation, that I always forget how to do: Stop conscious mental chatter Cool off "hot" emotions (anger, fear, grief etc.) Not suffer when in moderate pain Recognize trauma through body language Anticipate emotions in people
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Almost all of these are useless, because I can't remember how to do them about 90% of the time when I need it. Partly it's uneven awakenings, where I temporarily "realize" how to do something. Partly lack of practice. So if anything, I'd always say "practice more, and better".
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Replying to and
Yes, exactly. I can access most of them now (calm, positive general life situation), but it's still very challenging in other situations. Being at home with my family, for example, I couldn't at all cope with feelings like anger.
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