Most trauma isn't beyond healing, I don't think.
But, and especially with really early childhood trauma, an entire personality structure can be built around the pain.
Once these become inextricable, every step towards healing can cause an identity crisis.
Very challenging.
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The societies we're born into do very little to facilitate healing. Usually, the complete opposite.
Instead of working out the pain when it's fresh, we're forced to isolate it completely.
The longer this goes on, the more difficult it becomes to process.
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It will sound a bit strange to people who don't have (or aren't aware of having) strong developmental traumas, but this song used to cause intense revulsion for me:
youtu.be/YkADj0TPrJA
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The precipitating event happened in my late teens, but the reasons I was unable to heal from it at the time was an entire childhood in the making.
Now, it doesn't actually bother me at all. But that took years of slow reconstruction.
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For those who had really terrible things happen to them in early childhood (and not just "pretty bad, with side of dysfunctional parenting" like me), this is so much more challenging.
Letting go of the pain isn't going to undo decades of conditioning and formative experiences.
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"Personality disorders," could probably be better understood as "disorderly personalities."
They are not "medical conditions" applied over some normatively interpreted normal person (who doesn't exist). They are fully fledged personality structures, just like anyone's.
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Expecting someone to "heal" from that is like expecting them to heal from being extroverted or bisexual.
You can change it on some level, sure, but you're not talking about healing - you're talking about brutal re-conditioning.
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Still, some of the behavior attached to these personality structures is so intensely alienating/destructive that it undermines a person's social life, or those of their associates, or both.
Even without a normative lens, this is still a problem for the people affected.
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Still, applying a disease model to that problem creates a range of expectations and society-level responses that are unhealthy for everyone involved.
This isn't a medical problem. It's a social problem.
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Taking medications to manage social problems you experience as a result of your personality isn't necessarily a bad thing to do.
But it's better understood as extreme nootropics than medicating a health problem. In practical terms, you're engaging in *performance enhancement*.
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This doesn't deligitimate the choice, any more than drinking coffee to perform at work in a grueling and unnatural performance-oriented culture.
It's a choice people make in order to cope better with the unique stresses of their lives. Simple as.
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People will have their own notions of how this works, but in simple terms, basically none of these drugs cause permanent remission in symptoms.
Because they're not symptoms! They're a normal baseline for that person.
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Some forms of healing can be done on this at a more fundamental level, but it's mostly not on offer in any commercial form - though there are exceptions.
And the choice of whether or not to go through that must be for the person who has the problem (if they see it that way).