I intentionally piss certain people off to keep them at arm's length.
Does this make me an asshole? Probably.
Will I stop doing it? No.
Reason: some people will not respect your personal space unless they think it's their idea.
Conversation
"This guy's an idiot and I don't like him," feels a hell of a lot more compelling to a certain sort of person than "they told me to back off, so of course I respect that."
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A very large amount of social mores concerning politeness are better understood as ways for abusive people to get inside your guard.
It's often good to keep good decorum. It doesn't mean it's the Law, and it certainly shouldn't be.
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If you've not been too badly taken for a ride, it's at least easy to spot these vampires:
They expect "norms" and "civil behavior" to be followed to the letter, except if they're being imposed on them.
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It's that grandpa who won't tolerate swearing in his house, but will call any woman he doesn't like a "cunt" to her face.
It's that narcissist who always insists on getting to opt out of a conversation if it upsets them, but then just keeps on talking when you've stopped.
Etc.
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It's also abusers who insist on due process and that everyone should give them the benefit of the doubt, but will get out in front of any accusation to slander the accuser.
I don't respect these people. And while I can't tell anyone what to do, I don't think you should, either.
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Polite & civil behavior serves any number of social functions in healthy(ish) relationships.
If you apply them indiscriminately, you're either a master or a sucker. If you do, at least understand the choice you're making to the fullest extent possible.
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There is an entire subset of ethical behaviors where you do this on purpose, knowing full well who and what you're dealing with.
That is very different than getting caught in the shell game of following rules written by monsters, for monsters.
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I feel really silly having to admit "I can't tell people what to do," but it's mostly because it's difficult to get across intent in this format.
I'm far closer to writing "Meditations for plebs," than rules I think others should follow.
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Sometimes I stop and think it's pretty funny how a Roman emperor's personal collection of admonitions to himself to behave better ("don't be such a little shit, Marcus") has become some sort of modern Bible for a certain class of irreligious people.
He wasn't writing for us.
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