Meditation has some weird side-effects. They're not particularly predictable, nor is there a good science for explaining them.
I've lost any ability to be frightened by horror movies, and don't suffer imagination-based aftereffects either. Weird.
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It would be fair to ask how I can claim that's related to meditation, and obviously I can't prove it.
But I notice the number of situations where limbic responses go bone deep are decreasing. The system seems to modulate itself more actively.
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There is also a large extent to which emotional responses are trained and modelled, moreso than authentic.
You are acting out a script. "I'm scared, and this is how scared people act." Only, that part is just a story. Without it, there are only some sensations. Sometimes.
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I don't know if horror stories have ever really invoked anything else than a sensory thrill, a mild catecholamine spike.
But, from when I was a little child:
"Oh, you'll be terrified reading that!"
"You'll have nightmares!"
"You will be scared of those things now!"
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It's difficult to formulate just how many of our behaviors are formulaic, shallow, self-reinforcing.
What goes in initially percolates, permutates, grows. When the initial response is blunted, the whole response is blunted. But when it's amplified...
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Even weirder, this seems to work almost by category.
Things that don't prompt self-reinforcing reactions for me:
- Moderate hunger, thirst, tiredness or physical discomfort.
- Pain
- Manufactured extreme emotion (news, horror, religion)
Many other things still do, however.
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I'm too much of an eclectic at the best of times, but lately I just do three things in different flavours:
- Focus on sensations
- Focus on thoughts
- Focus on mental images
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When I was getting good results with emotional reactivity, though, I was mdoing some flavor of feelings-centered meditation.
I'd actively pay attention to how I was feeling, to the best of my ability, in everyday life. During sitting, I'd bring up any unresolved content.
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By that, I mean I'd go back and recall situations that were upsetting or otherwise affecting, and let myself feel any feelings attached.
Had an argument that still stings? Remember it, and let it wash over you. The idea isn't to think or reflect, but to feel what's there.
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I've heard people have wildly different success with techniques like this. I had a lot of duds early on.
What made it work was to just make space for feelings. Avoid spending the session ruminating or focusing on anything else than feelings and the space before feelings.
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Sometimes just sitting around doing nothing eventually makes you plunge into some really deep waters.
I've had stories come up that were years old, or recurring themes that simmer just out of consciousness and drive a lot of habitual thought. After, many sort of fade a bit.
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