major pitfall for “spiritual” types: the delusion that everybody should take one as seriously as one takes oneself.
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The number of ways in which trauma and spirituality are conflated is probably a result of trauma pushing people to spirituality to cope.
Curious: what do you mean by "won't own their own pain"? I feel I'm seeing this play out in some people, but not sure if it's the same thing.
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Right. So what you are talking about *in general* is the tendency people have to Other their pain when they have unresolved or ongoing trauma?
This prompting unhelpful "help" for others, lack of regard for those people's feelings (because they're putting their own there) etc.?
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That's fair. I'm only speaking to my own experience, on both sides of that problem.
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I've found a heuristic I like to apply, and it's actually quite horrifying how effective it can be:
If you think a relationship isn't exploitative, see what happens if you take away the transactional part, say with "I need to focus on some of my own stuff for a while."
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Right? The coercive response or loss of interest is immediate. Hence, horrifying.