It's commonly stated that parents will try their best not to make the mistakes of their parents, and make them all the same.
Maybe that's true, but I think it's mostly a confusion of different levels of analysis.
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There are many emotionally trying sotuations that are pretty much unique to parenting.
Because they are nearly unique, you are only likely to have learned coping mechanisms for them from... your parents.
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Then there are the discreet failures of individual parenting decisions: punishment & reward, violence, whatever.
Most parents who are not TOO traumatized learn to avoid the ones their parents exhibited.
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What is more difficult to see or avoid is the underlying emotional circuitry.
You undo one knot, but there's still the whole tangle.
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