Yeah. It's very easy to allow yourself to slip into naivety when it confirms your prejudices. Every abusive prick prefers to plead ignorance.
twitter.com/_hoemo/status/
Conversation
Replying to
"That was rape."
"Heh, uh, yeah, I was so deeply confused about the whole thing, you know? Just got sort of carried away, right?"
Yeah, no, not even slightly what happens in these situations.
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I know at least one guy who tried to play off rape as misunderstanding. Save in rare cases of real problems with empathy etc., it's always malice.
Toxic relationships are a different story. There people often know better but get carried away. Doesn't make it OK, though.
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(And it doesn't make lying about your lack of understanding of consent particularly convincing, either.)
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There are only two types of consent violations:
Weird, pushy behavior that violates implicit consent standards.
Actual crimes.
If pleading ignorance to the second works, that's on the criminal justice system.
If the first work, it's a fool me once fool me twice kind of thing.