Tom TaylorKonto zweryfikowane

I’ve been laughing to myself about just how cliched-horror-movie this cabin is. But at 5.30am, out of nowhere, despite it blowing a gale out there for hours, wind chimes start chiming for the first time from the porch...

Now, I’m just about to go to bed, but I’m not sleeping through annoying, spontaneous wind chimes, so I head out there...

And I see the wind chimes hanging on a rusty hook. I figure I can reach them, and I walk out onto the porch in my socks. And the door immediately slams shut behind me. Of course...

I frantically check the door’s not locked. It isn’t. I’m not stuck on this porch in this gale in my socks and a T-shirt. But I do hear something in the bushes...

I don’t think much of it. There’s been possums running all over the roof all night (cute Australian possums, not those weird US ones). It’s the bush, things are allowed to move in bushes...

I manage to stand on my tippy toes and grab the rusted wind chimes from the rusted nail they’re hanging on, and I hear the noise again...

And straight after I take the photo, there’s a flash. I check to see if my phone’s flash is on - it is. I try to turn it off to take another photo, but something flashes over me...

And it didn’t come from my phone...

And there’s the sound again. But this time it’s heavier. Like a footstep...

And there’s another flash against the wall of the cabin. I pull my phone out of my pocket, thinking I’ve left the torch on, which I somehow have, and I manage to shine it in my own face as I try to turn it off to take another photo of the cabin...

But then I realize I didn’t shine my phone in my face. Something else flashed in my face, & my brain is yelling at me...

I’m telling myself I’m being stupid and that I did flash my own face & the ‘footstep’ was probably a kangaroo or something, so I turn to confront the animal making the sound, and...

And, at 5.30am, in the dark, outside the murder cabin, SOMEONE IS STANDING THERE...

I can’t see their face. They’re wearing a head torch...

And I’m running. I know I slipped at some stage in my socks, as I ran up the porch. I definitely kicked the wind chimes. I ran through the door and slammed it shut and locked it...

And here’s the thing. Several tweets later, I’m sure it was probably just a super-early-morning jogger or something, who was curious about the guy standing in his socks taking photos of a cabin with a flash...

Update: I just heard the wind chimes again. The wind chimes I know for fact aren’t hanging up anymore.

THIS IS SCREWED. I am not joking. Lying in bed and the bedroom door just suddenly blew open with a bang...

I realize it’s been 8 hours. Just wanted to let you all know, I’m okay. The story didn’t end there, but my phone battery did, and the charger was in my car OUTSIDE - so, you know, physically impossible to retrieve...

So, this is what happened next. Before my phone died, I spoke to my wife and told her I was sure I’d be fine. And then I took a video... of the bedroom ceiling...

I’m lying there staring at the ceiling, which is apparently counting down to my death, when the wind chimes rattle across the porch floor, and then something very big runs across the roof...

I’m assuming it was a large possum, and definitely not a hellbeast. Eventually, exhausted, I close my eyes...

And I wake up to a BANG! I’m instantly more awake than I’ve ever been before. I’m on my feet, but I don’t remember getting out of bed...

Someone is BASHING ON THE FRONT DOOR...

I’m standing motionless, in my underwear, ignoring the still-ticking ceiling, trying not to breathe too loud, trying not to make a single sound. I AM A PETRIFIED NINJA...

The bashing starts again... Without stopping to do anything sensible that would make me feel less vulnerable, like put on pants, I walk slowly to the front door, and there’s a large shadow on the venetian blinds. A very big person is standing on the porch of this remote cabin...