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  1. 23 Jan 2016

    I haven't tweeted in a coons age

  2. Retweeted
    8 Oct 2014

    "There has never been a sadness not cured by breakfast food." -Ron Swanson

  3. 5 Oct 2014

    When you watch Kung Fu Panda 2 instead of doing homework, prime.

  4. Retweeted
    16 Sep 2014

    for someone who can’t sing i sure sing a lot

  5. 7 Jun 2014

    Owner of the house I'm working at cooked up some dogs and shared some beer today. Safe to say he's the bees knees

  6. 28 Jan 2014
  7. Retweeted
    2 Sep 2013

    you been drinking?

  8. Retweeted
    20 Aug 2013
  9. 6 Aug 2013

    know what really grinds my gears? when I go to the discovery channel and it's a show about a shredder instead of

  10. Retweeted
    8 Jul 2013
  11. Retweeted
    15 Jun 2013

    A huge thanks to for organizing an amazing prom! Good show, old sport!

  12. Retweeted
    14 May 2013

    Congrats you did it! wooo !

  13. Retweeted
    14 Mar 2013

    I didn't choose the Doug life, The Doug life chose me

  14. 7 Mar 2013

    Just got my jones hat in the mail! Woo

  15. Retweeted
    28 Feb 2013

    Sometimes a boy just wants to poop with his buddies

  16. Retweeted
    24 Feb 2013

    If I can get 10 retweets on this, i'll put a discount code on all the Pure Vision Products!

  17. Retweeted
    13 Feb 2013

    2 hours of calculus a day is fucking brutal! University better be worth it

  18. Retweeted
    5 Feb 2013
  19. Retweeted
    25 Jan 2013

    CUUUUBESSSS

  20. 21 Jan 2013

    "Men's Humor ...well, women".

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