Jesus he won't shut up.
Todd Glass
@ToddGlass
The Principal from Ten Year Old Tom on HBO Max. Show dates on my website.
Todd Glass’s Tweets
Here's just a little something I thought of when people say
"YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING ANYMORE"
Today, Jeff Dunham released this quote .... it is with a strong feeling of remorse & contrition that i bequeath this message to my beloved Fans. I will be dropping all of the puppets out of my act because the hateful comments they have made 1/2
Replying to
3/3 Jeff also added" yes I fucked my puppets and they fucked me back & watch Todds Netflix special ( act happy ) & listen to his podcast ( The Todd Glass Show)
If you love ventriloquism, you’ll like this...
Link to the full video: youtube.com/watch?v=GyBkyu
Number 50 !!!! You're a good person… You're one of the people Mr. Roger says to look for… Especially times like these twitter.com/akkitwts/statu
This Tweet is unavailable.
Replying to
2/2 " at first I thought there just jokes , but what bothered me more is a lot of them aren't even new jokes they're just old street jokes that my puppets revamped , Never too late to grow willingly "
In about 1994 a few friends and I came up with an idea for a show called Todd’s Coma. I did not know Fred that well- I saw him at the Improv and was very nervous to talk to him but he was super friendly. (1/2)
OVERHEARD: "this is not a case of she said, he said. This is a case of he said, she confirmed" she confirmed, she confirmed, she confirmed
Merry Christmas… Dear Lord… Please protect me from your followers& Thank you for giving Todd Glass, A new special, January 23 on
I lost 780 followers… Because they're upset that I keep tweeting about my special… But I'll say it again… I already shot my special Nov 5th
Why does everybody that drives a Subaru always looks so happy… They have there Coffee … A dog in the back
As a 33 year old, I knew Dan Nainan didn't look my age!
Maybe we should all be asking him health and wellness tips?
Wow !!
Quote Tweet
When I was a kid I watched all of the standup shows on TV. I’d see the same comics over & over and after a while I may not remember all of their names but I’d remember their jokes.
Tonight, watching an old “Improv Tonite”, I realized one of those memorable comics was @ToddGlass
This is so fucking funny…
Quote Tweet
Genuine question: Was there *literally anything* on Quibi as well constructed as this kid’s zero-budget TikTok
Look at all these drinks I stole from I also stole soap from the bathroom… I have a serious illness… And I also tried to steal one of the producers barracuda jackets
WOULD YOU EAT AT THIS RESTAURANT?
NEITHER WOULD I.
SO I NEVER UNDERSTOOD COMEDIANS THAT DO
"NO APOLOGY" TOURS.
IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE ADMITTING AN ALREADY EXISTING PROBLEM.
Hi… You can hang with me and my friends… Only one rule no soda cans on the table… Happy Honda days
This is me at my best
If you can get to a Wa Wa safely… Get 2 pretzels…Mash them as flat as you can get them … And use them to make a sandwich… … You have no idea how good it's going to be… Cut it in half and send me a picture
For anybody who is taking a lot of walks during the pandemic, and finding it hard to find places to pee...this tip should really help you
THIS IS A REALLY GREAT REPRESENTATION OF WHAT I DO ON THE ROAD LIKE I WAS NEVER ABLE TO CAPTURE BEFORE.
BUT WAS ABLE TO DO IT BEAUTIFULLY.
I DID A LITTLE VIDEO TO EXPLAIN, AND I ATTACHED IT TO THE FRONT.
THE EVENT OF A LIFETIME... youtu.be/LqDjYoPvWJo
Doing a full hour show with an opening act right into your living room … Watch this video for more info …
2 weeks ago… We were watching Norm bits … Giggling on the sofa… I was so excited that's their son Jack … Really loved him
Quote Tweet
Our 15 year old son had just discovered the uniquely spectacular comic mind of Norm & instantly became a fan. @ToddGlass @JimGaffigan remember we were just watching Norm bits? We love Norm RIP to one of the greats. twitter.com/TheStandNYC/st…
OK I want to be upfront about this everybody… … Asked me if I celebrated Christmas… So I sent her this little video… Now she's texting me saying it makes it look like I want to sleep with her… Be honest do you think I sent the wrong message
So much appreciate when someone echoes the way I feel… But says it cleaner and better twitter.com/tonestirade/st
This Tweet is unavailable.
Hey everybody, hope your Monday is going great. I had to cancel Skankfest. I forgot it was my grandmother's 50th birthday... I'm young, what do you want from me?
Every second of this thing is shut the fuck up funny. It is so relevant that it makes you think it was shot a week ago. Obviously, it wasn't. Tweet your favorite 10 second clip. You can find this masterpiece on amazon prime.
Did you ever text a friend and you don't hear back for weeks… So you get worried… Then you see that they tweeted an hour ago and you're like hmmmmmmm…
Quote Tweet
Mia Love is spewing both sides garbage on the Both Sides Network. What a disingenuous hack. @CNN
Oh my God.... Brandon Wardell… Just punched an old lady in the head Lordy Lordy Lordy
Every candidate says they can Make America Great Again. But Bernie Sanders can Make America The Greatest Its Ever Been.
Donald Trump says "look at her" as if the people he normally sexually assaults are much better looking.
I miss the good old days when I used to sing on the Jimmy Kimmel Show. This one is back from 1964...
Guys, first of all, thanks for all your support, but are you listening to what I'm saying?...are you hearing me when I say the special was already shot last year?
A lot of people get upset with cancel culture… Well in this case Jen is saying DONT!!!!!!!! try to cancel but we can at least support … That things have to fucking Change LOVE TODD twitter.com/JenKirkman/sta
This Tweet is unavailable.
I love you , and I'm proud of you… See I'm not the tough Guy everybody thinks I am.
What's the shit is going on… I'm sorry… But nobody is listening &I'm starting to get really upset… I really want people to watch this… Seriously I'm proud of it… Go to YouTube… Type in Todd Glass… The event of a lifetime… That's it… Do that and there will be no problems
Quote Tweet
Replying to @ToddGlass
Todd you know I love you but I just don't think it's responsible to tape a comedy special during Covid and ask people to jam pack themselves into a space - when is the special taping date again? November 5th?
Would you be a dear and retweet my pinned tweet? Ill see who does and know if you truly love me.
I'm sorry this might offend some people… And it's not my normal self… fuck fireworks
You have to see the irony that people that were hit or spanked Are the only people saying it's okay
← ← CHECK OUT SOME OF MY TOUR DATES IN MY PROFILE PICTURE!
ACT HAPPY - STREAMING NOW ON
MY BOOK "THE TODD GLASS SITUATION" IS AVAILABLE THROUGH
I shot it in black and white to save energy cause of what's going on.
Replying to
So I talked to him about my idea of him playing a doctor who knew a little about everything...except medical stuff.
We rehearsed it at my house. He showed up so professional, so goddamn funny & so sweet. I know he lived an exceptional life, but still a gut punch that he's gone.
To all my friends with big and small followings ,I won't ask you directly, but could you be a dear & retweet this… I'm really proud of it… And it was a Tonna fun🙂
Quote Tweet
THIS IS A REALLY GREAT REPRESENTATION OF WHAT I DO ON THE ROAD LIKE I WAS NEVER ABLE TO CAPTURE BEFORE.
BUT @JOHNBRANDWAGNER WAS ABLE TO DO IT BEAUTIFULLY.
I DID A LITTLE VIDEO TO EXPLAIN, AND I ATTACHED IT TO THE FRONT.
THE EVENT OF A LIFETIME... youtu.be/LqDjYoPvWJo







