They don't understand why all the things they've said and tried to help don't resonate. Never mind that it probably centers them anyway.
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Someone I like tells me constantly, "you'll just go away, they all do". But I know that feeling and could never do it to another person.
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I talk about people performing relationships/friendships. Even for people who don't have mental illness. They're sadness scares people.
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I'm not afraid of your darkness. I'm not afraid of your vulnerability. I will never get tired of you. Because you're my reflection.
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This idea that we are inherently toxic, that we always drag people down. This is what isolates us. This is what keeps us alone.
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Many of us go out of our way to make sure no one feels like we do. We try in vein to stop other people what we can't stop in ourselves.
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Coming to terms with your feelings is not negative. Recognizing the reality of your situation is not negative. It's fucking brave.
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I can laugh with you, I can joke with you, I can love you and appreciate you like anyone would. But darkness is in the back of mind, always.
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If that scares you, if that makes you uncomfortable, fine. But the minute you think you can tell me how to feel, do me a favor and fuck off.
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I don't perform happiness. I don't perform positivity. I don't perform for anyone. I'm a sensitive, vulnerable person. Accept it or don't.
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Last thing. Anyone who answers this thread with any variation of "it gets better" or "change your situation" is getting blocked on the spot.
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End of conversation
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