I have never been happier that we skipped Elf on the Shelf lore.pic.twitter.com/NGOIf0LrEs
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"Don't worry mom, we'll clean up" Actually means "we took all the ingredients out of the fridge for what we planned to make, what we actually made, and 25% of what was in the fridge unrelated to what we made...and left them all out overnight. PS, all the pans are out too" Huh.
I made applesauce. It has too much cinnamon. The only reasonable solution is to make more applesauce tomorrow and average out the cinnamon. Tl;dr: there is never too much applesauce.
We watched a rando kids movie today since it wasn't outside weather. 9: why do they always kill off the parents? Me: because parents wouldn't allow these adventures 9: can't they just tell stories where kids have adventures and parents let them? Me: not since the 80s, kid
You all...I told 7 and 9 that this past weekend that the farmer's market was going to be inside for the winter so the pup couldn't come to that. 9 made a farmer's market in the kitchen so "the whole family could shop". Don't mind me chopping onions.pic.twitter.com/adnABR5ZHn
I replaced my nearly 2 decade old noise-cancelling headphones.
These are better.
My husband is not a fan.
I was just tapped on the shoulder and told I have to be available for his "constant stupid questions."
I directed him to the salsa and put them back on.
#pandemicworklife
7, ever the pragmatic child, wanted to make sure he could locate his pants.pic.twitter.com/G9DkLErFld
I just heard a crashing porcelain breaking noise upstairs. Our toilet is broken. We have one bathroom. It seems my day will be changing course.
Halfway to the hardware store we realized the back of my van was filled with cleaning supplies, dog supplies, and returnables.
We have unload and are headed out again.
Pro-tip, don't do that 
Why are there so many kind of toilets, but none are what I need? Why? WHY?
I have one requirement, that the toilet tank lid have a lip around the edge so things set there don't end up *in* the toilet. (Or on the floor) It seems I am in the minority in this preference. Nonetheless, I appear to have a solution.pic.twitter.com/EGQXg3WUVr
Alas, we still lack a working throne. 7 and 9 took immense joy in (self-directed) peeing in the uninstalled toilet remains now on the side of the house. However, we have now reached "mom must go to the store to buy frozen pizza so I can use a real toilet" status.
We have a working toilet.
However, the wrong box in the right bay was grabbed...so my 1 request, a toilet with a lipped lid did not happen. 
The boys convinced us to trick or treat. I stepped in an enormous puddle and am doing this in a wet dress.
Maine takes Halloween very seriously, even when social distancing.pic.twitter.com/AUYR1eF0FG
Though incredibly quiet for our neighborhood, everyone was safe and delightful.
#HappyCovidHalloweenpic.twitter.com/owgAGBFmRW
I ripped the dry part of my dress though, because of course I did. Happier haunting to your wardrobe.pic.twitter.com/23Kbsi9HMH
Children just came into my kitchen screaming. Children just left my kitchen drenched with my kitchen sprayer. Screaming has ceased.
I was just on a zoom. Children were silently working away. I turned off mute to speak. 9 decided to smash the cardboard thing 7 was working on and 7 screamed like he was being slowly disemboweled. Thankfully, everyone seemed more entertained than horrified.
My ceiling has fewer tiles this morning. It seems our toilet install was not as successful as previously thought. How is your day?
Husband just went upstairs with a caulk gun loaded with a fascinating adhesive choice. I'm making tea.
After watching Nailed It, 9 is now determined to make some sort of dessert involving melted chocolate. Inspired by the show, he has decided to use the microwave. I'm not optimistic about the outcome, but I will refrain from the judge reactions from the show.
My children are eating sardines and herring straight out of the tin with their fingers for lunch. And I...pic.twitter.com/Q4YWlN69gm
I think I figured out the root cause of the untimely demise of cilantro in our indoor growing project.pic.twitter.com/judTWGVx8s
9 lost a tooth today. Apparently he googled the tooth fairy and discovered that the going rate for a tooth is $5. 7 and 9 have opted out of all previous tooth fairy shenanigans, but are now searching the house for all their lost teeth to try to cash them in. I have no $5 bills.
Talk to me about hair scraggle. I haven't had my hair trimmed in over a year. Did you just...whack off a chunk when it got annoying?
With the surge of #COVID19 digging in, I am trying to give the boys some normalcy as I limit our few trips even further.
I have sacrificed this precious small bit of counter space to a "fun hot cocoa center".
Have you replaced your habits this year or given them up?pic.twitter.com/HAmgnnCOlU
9 got a wee bit carried away. I find myself the owner of a chunky, longish but scraggle-free bob.pic.twitter.com/E69x4jvmt3
9 lost 2 teeth today that he didn't even inform me were wiggly. I have a 5 and a 20. I hope tonight isn't the night he decides to see if he believes in the tooth fairy.
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