the weird "incel" people hold many insane beliefs but the one that strikes me as especially insane is the contention that lonely women do not also exist.
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idk a lot of these guys seem very wrapped up in the sex part.
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Oh yeah they do seem that way. They may even convince themselves that that’s what it is. But that’s just dissembling. It’s not the sex (and so hookers wouldn’t help): it’s the judgment that “you are worthy of sex” from people that the person finds attractive.
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true, and it goes without saying these guys often show truly sad levels of ignorance about actual sex
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analogy to the Great Recession and hysteresis from long term unemployment. When you’re out of a job for long enough you start to lose job skills. When you’re lonely that long you start losing the skills of sociability. It’s no one person’s job, but the phenomenon is a crisis
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(Nobody owes them sex or companionship, but the fact that we have so many people so toxically lonely is a crisis that we as a society ought to have prevented)
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i blame suburbia
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(obv there's more than that going on but the phenomenon of cul-de-sac kids who have no freedom to independently interact with the world beyond TV and the internet until they turn 16 is very real)
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I also blame the ethos of “education is a two decade iterative tournament to get a job” as part of that same overall process of stomping the socialization out of kids
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It’s not that they’re not having sex. It’s not that they don’t have a girlfriend. It’s that they’re terrified that they aren’t the kind of person who can get a girlfriend (AND that they’re lonely and self-isolating bc of that self loathing)
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Instead of becoming some whiny toxic psycho I joined the goddamn Marines. It was a radical solution, but it worked for me: I developed a sense of purpose and self-worth that didn’t rely on the external judgment of others measure through sexual consent
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The deep irony is that this sense of self-worth and self-motivation allowed me to make myself into the sort of person who was able to be attractive to others—hence my girlfriend who became my wife.
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