The reason you can't solve incels by making sure lonely guys get enough sex is even more basic than the many moral and safety issues. Incel is not a relationship status. It's an identity.
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I know way too much about these guys because
@DavidFutrelle has been writing about them forever and I would hang around and poke the man-trolls on his blog along with@pecunium,@cloudy_yah,@weirwoodtreehug,@Kootiepatra, and friends.1 reply 4 retweets 35 likesShow this thread -
There was this one guy who hung around who referred to himself as an "incel." When we talked to him, it turned out he had a fuckbuddy. He was getting all the sex he wanted, and had been for months.
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And yet he still identified as an incel. Because it wasn't the exact kind of sex he wanted in the context of the ideal relationship he wanted, and because he hadn't always been able to have sex in the past, he still felt like he was, in principle, a guy who couldn't get sex.
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Incels fall into this toxic community at a time in their lives when they feel dissatisfied with their relationships and resentful of women, and the community encourages them to base their entire identity as a person around that fact.
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Being in the incel community incentivizes these guys to NOT fix their relationship problems, or if they do find a relationship, to continue to resent women and believe they're not getting what they deserve. Because that's who they are. Their world revolves around that status.
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This is an important way incels differ from other groups of people who want to be in a different place in life (eg, couples trying to conceive): It's natural to leave those groups as your status changes, either by achieving your goal or accepting that you won't. Incels don't.
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Replying to @gwenckatz
Incels are predatory and abusive by definition. I encountered them when I was at a very low ebb, my ex had spent years gaslighting, and I had a lot of anger about how being male automatically put me at a disadvantage with affairs of the heart. 1/some.
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Replying to @The_Corpsie @gwenckatz
I found that cesspit through depressions, soul searching and sane reactions to insane circumstances. At that point I was fighting with TERFS, and a whole load of other unpleasant acronyms. It's pretty much luck that I didn't get sucked into that vortex. 2/some
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Replying to @The_Corpsie @gwenckatz
I was involuntarily single.. despite putting the work in to an existing realationship. Very broken and my ex, as a gaslighter, wielded all the power. Prime pickings and I had a reflex revulsion. Just luck 3/with probably one more.
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Incel is internally abusive at least as much as externally. You are depersoned as part of the process and rewarded for thinking of women as badly as you see yourself. /end.
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