Shower Thoughts

I can’t recall ever seeing an old black and white photograph of someone with acne.

Naming your cat “Whiskers” is like naming your kid “Eyebrows.”

If I’m a 7 out of 10, that’s the same as 3.5 out of 5. I probably wouldn’t buy me on Amazon.

Eating a lollipop is just swallowing your flavored spit.

Can we celebrate 4/20 on 2/10 and 1/5 since they are all reduced fractions?

When I get in my car, I’m always surprised how loud I liked to listen to music yesterday.

Ctrl+Alt+Del is telling your computer “I want to speak to a manager”

I wonder if I’ve ever unknowingly started a chain of events that catastrophically changed someones life, for better or worse.

Every public bathroom toilet should have a foot pedal to flush instead of a handle.

Pizza is eaten from the inside out.

You know you’re adult when you have the freedom to eat ice cream for breakfast….. but you choose not to.

If the Mayans had predicted 2016 as the final year instead of 2012, it would have been pretty convincing.

Every day you don’t die increases the probability that you will die the next day.

I wonder if I've ever received the same dollar twice.

Your social status determines if you are either murdered or assassinated.

Every time I check my pockets for my wallet, keys, and phone, I do 25% of the macarena.

In three years, someone could make “That 90’s Show” and the time difference would be the same as it was for “That 70’s Show”