God

@TheTweetOfGod

Unverified. Unverified. Thee/thou/thine.

Vrijeme pridruživanja: listopad 2010.

Medijski sadržaj

  1. 25. sij

    Thanks for noticing, Mr. President!

  2. 20. pro 2019.

    I (in the form of My secretary) wrote this song for My Chosen People at this special time of year. Try not to melt.

  3. 2. kol 2019.

    Spoiler alert: he wasn’t licensed to drive a car, either, genius.

    Ovo je potencijalno osjetljiv multimedijski sadržaj. Saznajte više
  4. 11. lip 2019.

    "Hello God". Please. Don't try to make all kissy-kissy with Me now, Twitter. It's too late. You messed with the wrong Near Eastern Bronze Age sky-father-king projection. By the time I'm done with you, MYSPACE will laugh at your relevance.

  5. 11. lip 2019.

    What the fuck, Twitter. Seriously. What the fuck. What the fuck is this.

  6. 6. svi 2019.

    Retweet this complaint about "retweet this or I'll kill you" or I'll kill you.

  7. 28. ožu 2019.

    Somewhere out there is one sensitive white churchgoer.

  8. 4. velj 2019.

    It must have been Jesus. He feels embarrassed.

  9. 8. lis 2018.

    This is My son. He graduated #1 in his class at Nazareth High. He is a gentleman who loves women and respects virgins like his mother. He is afraid to go on solo dates with women because he is afraid they will lie and say he made them wash his feet. That, plus he’s gay.

  10. 27. kol 2018.

    Here are 50 stars, 13 stripes, seven mammals and zero living souls.

  11. 23. srp 2018.
  12. 5. srp 2018.

    New selfie. Honestly I'm not in a good place right now.

  13. 20. lip 2018.

    I GOT A NEW PUPPY! Her name is Rosie and she’s a Maltipoo and she’s the sweetest thing ever! All dogs go to heaven but this one gets to live with Me!

  14. 11. lip 2018.

    Not pictured: a human being.

  15. 19. svi 2018.

    Fuck you anonymous asshole.

    Prikaži ovu nit
  16. 18. tra 2018.

    My Twitter account is evidently a cry for help.

    Prikaži ovu nit
  17. 5. tra 2018.

    No insult anyone can hurl at Me can ever compare with the concise perfection of this since-deleted classic:

  18. 20. ožu 2018.

    Well look who's following Me! Hey there, fellas! Appreciate the support, but quit sending the Ukrainian girls. It's not gonna work. You're still going to hell.

  19. 15. ožu 2018.
  20. 4. velj 2018.

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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