God

@TheTweetOfGod

Unverified. Unverified. Thee/thou/thine.

Joined October 2010

Tweets

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Jan 27

    I'm not where I want to be career-wise.

    Undo
  2. 17 hours ago

    SUPER BOWL PREDICTION New England 0. And that's all that matters.

    Undo
  3. Jan 31

    Congratulations Britain on the dawn of a new error.

    Undo
  4. Jan 26

    What the fuck.

    Show this thread
    Undo
  5. Jan 26

    A common error in prayer technique is sitting around asking for stuff. Most experts agree a more effective method is getting off your ass and doing something.

    Undo
  6. Jan 25

    Thanks for noticing, Mr. President!

    Undo
  7. Jan 23
    Undo
  8. Jan 22

    What doesn't kill you just needs a little more time.

    Undo
  9. Jan 18

    ANNOUNCEMENT As of today My son: • Is stepping away from heavenly duties • Will no longer be referred to as “Son of God” • Will no longer receive funds from Christianity • Will repay indigenous people for the cost of missionary work • Will spend most of his time in Canada

    Undo
  10. Jan 18

    I created you as mosquito food.

    Undo
  11. Jan 14

    Hey Basij, I'll make you a deal: if you let the students you're terrorizing and threatening to kill at Amir Kabir University go, I promise to restore your penises to normal size.

    Undo
  12. Jan 12

    Iran, the people of the world stand with you! Actually, no. Most of them don't care about you or even know you exist. But I stand with you! Actually, no. I'm imaginary. But YOU stand with you. And that's all you need.

    Undo
  13. Jan 12

    Fuck these mullahfuckers.

    Undo
  14. Jan 11

    The government took the plane down "by accident". Maybe the people should take the government down on purpose.

    Undo
  15. Jan 11

    Iran, you've been a cradle of civilization for over 10,000 years. You are truly too old for this shit.

    Undo
  16. Retweeted
    29 Jan 2018

    In an ideal scenario the President of the United States and the worst human being in the world would be two different people.

    Show this thread
    Undo
  17. Jan 7

    From now on only bad things happen.

    Undo
  18. Jan 7

    Attention: Will the owners of a blue planet with plate tectonics please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

    Undo
  19. Jan 5

    Say what you like about the President, but you have to admit: he's a fucking piece of shit.

    Undo
  20. Jan 4

    There's a direct link between climate change and not doing anything about climate change.

    Undo

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