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  1. 2 hours ago

    "Just kidding; be absolutely terrified." Mark 5:37

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  2. 4 hours ago

    You are your only hope.

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  3. 21 hours ago

    In an ideal scenario the President of the United States and the worst human being in the world would be two different people.

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  4. Jan 27

    Meta-analysis: Millions of Americans are fucking morons.

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  5. Jan 24

    There is a plot to get rid of , and over seven billion people are in on it.

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  6. Jan 20

    At this point I'm just like, whatever.

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  7. Jan 19

    I'm shutting down too.

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  8. Jan 19

    If you haven't already, check out My interview with in which I KICK HIS ASTROPHYSICAL COSMOLOGIST ASS!!!

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  9. Jan 18

    Remember sanity? Those were the days.

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  10. Jan 16
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  11. Jan 16

    Fuck these fucking motherfuckers so fucking much.

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  12. Retweeted
    Jan 15

    We have been deemed “racist” for tweeting that Martin Luther King plagiarized his dissertation and speeches. It has come to the point in our country where actually telling the truth can be a bad thing. Look it up, idiots.

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  13. Retweeted
    1 Dec 2017

    The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards impeachment.

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  14. Jan 14

    I will never be verified because I have never been verified.

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  15. Jan 13

    Omnipresence is just a fancy word for stalking.

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  16. Jan 13

    I command all of thee to follow these people for crucial cross-promotional reasons:

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  17. Jan 12

    Would it help if I existed? Because I'm willing to do that if it would help.

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  18. Jan 8

    No matter what happens, always remember: I could not care less.

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  19. Jan 8

    Many of you are saying punctuation always goes inside the quote. That may be the rule but it's nonsensical when the punctuation applies to the entire sentence and the quote does not. Example: Those who correct God go in the file marked "Hellbound".

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  20. Jan 8

    1. "Its", not "it's". 2. Colon (or comma), not semicolon, before "God". 3. Missing adjectival en-dash in "same-sex". 4. No comma after "couples". 5. Missing end quotation mark after "Civilly United". 6. Wrong, hateful and insane.

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