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TheRealDoctorT's profile
Sayed Tabatabai, MD
Sayed Tabatabai, MD
Sayed Tabatabai, MD
@TheRealDoctorT

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Sayed Tabatabai, MD

@TheRealDoctorT

Nephrologist. I observe. I write. Cherish your stories. Listen to each other’s. Writing in Medium, Physician’s Weekly, WSJ, NPR. Owner of @iggythepetrock

San Antonio, TX
Joined October 2013

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    Sayed Tabatabai, MD‏ @TheRealDoctorT 16 Sep 2020

    “Why do you want to be a doctor?” I answer without hesitation, “I want to help people.” “There are many ways to help people.” “I want to save lives.” “There are many ways to do that too. So I’ll ask you again, why do you want to be a doctor?” “Because I believe in it.” 1/

    10:01 AM - 16 Sep 2020
    • 8,731 Retweets
    • 18,234 Likes
    • sol ✨groovies✨ mikaela gabrielle maia Samantha Shahzad Khan, PhD ℂ𝕙𝕚 Matilda Gardiner
    216 replies 8,731 retweets 18,234 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Sayed Tabatabai, MD‏ @TheRealDoctorT 16 Sep 2020

        I think about that exchange now and then, some times more than others. Why do we do the things we do? What do we really believe in? My next clinic patient is one I’ve known for many years. He is visiting me today via Zoom. I always look forward to talking to him. 2/

        5 replies 140 retweets 1,863 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Sayed Tabatabai, MD‏ @TheRealDoctorT 16 Sep 2020

        As soon as the visit begins, I notice that his camera is angled off-center so I can’t get a clear look at his face. I ask if he can adjust it, but he says he’s having technical issues. No problem. I can adapt. It isn’t just the camera though. Something feels off today. 3/

        3 replies 107 retweets 1,567 likes
        Show this thread
      4. Sayed Tabatabai, MD‏ @TheRealDoctorT 16 Sep 2020

        Almost immediately I can tell that he sounds subdued. He isn’t cracking his usual jokes. I’m comfortable with silence, even in the heart of a busy clinic day. Silence is often where the healing happens. After asking how he’s doing, I let the silence between us grow. 4/

        1 reply 106 retweets 1,675 likes
        Show this thread
      5. Sayed Tabatabai, MD‏ @TheRealDoctorT 16 Sep 2020

        The question, when he asks it, is one I don’t expect. “Doc, which kills you faster? Blood pressure you don’t control, or blood sugar you don’t control?” The surprise on my face must register, because he explains further. “I just can’t afford all these medications anymore.” 5/

        13 replies 467 retweets 2,250 likes
        Show this thread
      6. Sayed Tabatabai, MD‏ @TheRealDoctorT 16 Sep 2020

        He continues. “The way I see it, doc, I only need to stick around 4 or 5 more years. That’s how long my pet dog has left, then I ain’t got no more family and it’s me all on my own. So I figure maybe take the diabetes ones and skip the blood pressure? Or every other day?” 6/

        11 replies 204 retweets 2,053 likes
        Show this thread
      7. Sayed Tabatabai, MD‏ @TheRealDoctorT 16 Sep 2020

        As I review his meds and start discussing our options with him, he adds one last remark. “And I’m real sorry doc. I know we go back a ways, but I can’t afford my co-pay. I’ll pay you later. Promise.” And just like that, I understand why his camera is angled. 7/

        4 replies 143 retweets 1,988 likes
        Show this thread
      8. Sayed Tabatabai, MD‏ @TheRealDoctorT 16 Sep 2020

        And just like that, I’m again struck by the cruel illusion of what I do. The system I’m part of. This patient did everything right; got insurance, paid his taxes. And he still has to barter years of his life. And he can’t bring himself to look me in the eyes as he does so. 8/

        9 replies 450 retweets 3,619 likes
        Show this thread
      9. Sayed Tabatabai, MD‏ @TheRealDoctorT 16 Sep 2020

        Our healthcare system is too often unethical, immoral, unsustainable. The insurance paradigm is focused on revenue generation. It strips the basic human dignity from patients, to the point where they can’t even make eye contact anymore. I know that I’m part of this system. 9/

        12 replies 971 retweets 4,885 likes
        Show this thread
      10. Sayed Tabatabai, MD‏ @TheRealDoctorT 16 Sep 2020

        He’s old enough to be my father. Some part of me imagines that he is my father. Tears threaten my vision, as a hot anger floods me. Now I wish I could angle my camera away. I ask him if I can write about him. Because people need to know. His response lingers with me. 10/

        8 replies 150 retweets 2,377 likes
        Show this thread
      11. Sayed Tabatabai, MD‏ @TheRealDoctorT 16 Sep 2020

        “Sure you can doc. But people already know. Lots of people deal with this. It ain’t that people don’t know. It’s just that nobody cares. Nobody gives enough of a damn to change anything. Nobody... cares.” The visit ends. My Zoom window closes. His window closes too. 11/

        14 replies 446 retweets 3,818 likes
        Show this thread
      12. Sayed Tabatabai, MD‏ @TheRealDoctorT 16 Sep 2020

        I feel it. There’s something insidious here. A casual cruelty we’re all complicit in. “I can’t go to rehab, insurance won’t cover it.” “Insurance won’t pay for that medication.” “I can’t afford any of this.” “I’m uninsured.” This isn’t right. None of this is right. 12/

        32 replies 686 retweets 4,311 likes
        Show this thread
      13. Sayed Tabatabai, MD‏ @TheRealDoctorT 16 Sep 2020

        Twenty years ago, I gave a medical school interview. I wore my best suit. I sat up straight. I said I believed in medicine. I meant it. Some part of me once burned brightly, but that fire is down to flickering embers. Our lives mean more than this. More than this.

        166 replies 756 retweets 7,630 likes
        Show this thread
      14. End of conversation

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