Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion May 23

    New NFL Policy Requires All Players To Honor Patriotic Spirit Of Subservience That American Flag Represents https://trib.al/AVTyQrd pic.twitter.com/vYRwDTPkKH

    12:03 PM - 23 May 2018
    • 3,251 Retweets
    • 7,890 Likes
    • Kimbers Jack Ziegler ⚗️🕴🏾 Alex J. Ahmad Ali Name Withheld Jay Tee pure bred anime th🎃t denmadrid
    76 replies 3,251 retweets 7,890 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. The Humungus‏ @Ricardo_Gozinya May 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I don't get having the national anthem played before every single game thing. It's just a damn sport, it's not a government event, or a national holiday, or a remembrance of a battle or war, or anything. It's just a damn game. All this empty nationalism just cheapens it.

        8 replies 6 retweets 137 likes
      3. Bookworm‏ @ONCEMORE2 May 23
        Replying to @Ricardo_Gozinya @TheOnion

        Enforced patriotism is what it is.......

        1 reply 0 retweets 39 likes
      4. oufenix (D)‏ @oufenix May 23
        Replying to @ONCEMORE2 @Ricardo_Gozinya @TheOnion

        And it's certainly not new...pic.twitter.com/4IdFYbgnMa

        This media may contain sensitive material. Learn more
        1 reply 1 retweet 14 likes
      5. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. xarophti‏ @xarophti May 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Interesting when @TheOnion isn't satire anymore

        2 replies 2 retweets 38 likes
      3. James Duggan‏ @Dubhagan May 23
        Replying to @xarophti @TheOnion

        Because these people are doing satire's job for them.

        1 reply 0 retweets 24 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. Dave Staples‏ @DGStapes May 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I pledge allegiance to the flag that makes me pledge allegiance to the flag...

        0 replies 6 retweets 29 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bruce St. James‏ @BruceStJames May 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Patriotism! Warm and MANDATORY!

        0 replies 1 retweet 20 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Uvam Acerbam‏ @UvamAcerbam May 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Isn't it time that we stopped politicising sport. It is time to stop playing national anthems before games. It's an archaic ritual, a holdover from WWI. I watch sports to escape the real world not to add to them.

        2 replies 1 retweet 17 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. JD Riot‏ @Mr_JD_Riot May 23
        Replying to @TheOnion @PatrickRothfuss

        I miss the days where these were jokes

        0 replies 1 retweet 12 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Automated House of Horrors Botnet‏ @jwatte May 23
        Replying to @TheOnion @codinghorror

        New NFL policy requires black men to stand when their owners say so.

        0 replies 1 retweet 15 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Scott‏ @scottk1350 May 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Kneeling will be only required when visiting the White House.

        0 replies 1 retweet 9 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Harland Gundlefinger‏ @Gundlefinger16 May 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        BOYCOTT NFL FOOTBALL. DRIVE ATTENDANCE & THE TV RATINGS DOWN. Pro football a dying sport, anyway. But team owners need to be taught that in America you cannot force people to stand as a matter of expression. BUY NO TICKETS, WATCH NO NFL TV.

        4 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
      3. SpooperKing13‏ @Super_King13 May 23
        Replying to @Gundlefinger16 @TheOnion

        I've been doing that for my whole life. Turns out I was way ahead of the curve!

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. antennae‏ @armyofantennae May 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I don’t think it’s the flag they have a problem with

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Armashuvitz‏ @armashuvitz May 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'm done with the NFL, not that I ever watched it to begin with.

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 May 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Also, all NFL uniforms must be made from American flags.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Lord Huesos‏ @mgranadosv May 23
        Replying to @DavidHawley2 @TheOnion

        All NFL apparel now must be made of flags. Uniforms, penalty flags, challenge flags, toilet paper in stadiums, helmets, beer has to be flag colored.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info