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The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion May 20

    Report: Average American Walks Less Than One Mile Each Year With Pants Around Ankles https://trib.al/sjgfQOj pic.twitter.com/7pqnkmz0If

    5:04 PM - 20 May 2018
    • 209 Retweets
    • 1,619 Likes
    • harald schmidt Sp🎃🎃py Feldy👻 KseniaYS Christian Hebert shittttttttttttttttt Sebi 🇵🇭🇲🇽🇺🇸 nothing creative Marc Stuart Richard J Torres
    34 replies 209 retweets 1,619 likes
      1. Nelly Kusske‏ @isew_isaw_imama May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'm just happy to finally be above-average at something

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Daniel Perkins‏ @P1ebInFiretruck May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        These numbers will change the way we think about everything. Humanity has shifted...

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Barbara‏ @bigskybabs May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Time to step it up!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Doc Hollywood Media‏ @DocHollywoodM May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        New #GuinessWorldRecord One Mile Each Year With Pants Around Ankles

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Tommy McPines‏ @TMcpines May 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is why we don't win Olympic Medals

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Mira Lew‏ @miralew May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Jon_Schwarz The Onion does it again.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Theodosus‏ @Atheodosus May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #NOTALL

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Eric rice‏ @2toneskarice May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And we say we're #1. I'm ashamed.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Ray Lauzon‏ @raylauzon May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        In Canada, it's less than one kilometer.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Call Me Shorts Boy‏ @CallMeShortsBoy May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is unacceptable. We have to try harder, America! #StriveForGreatness

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Scary  🦇 Actually‏ @JerryActually May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Amateurs

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Creed‏ @ShootsMagoo May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ha! We Canadians got ya beat again, Yankees!!

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Surge‏ @SCUngureanu May 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not if they don't store extra tp in the bathroom.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Positive Role Model‏ @DoctorBlase May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Guess I’m above average

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Sadness and Madness‏ @exxtra_thiqq May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        In what situation would you have your undies on but your pants around your ankles? go bare-assed or go home

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Josh Wayne‏ @AzShootinStar May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Clearly they didn't factor in teenagers from south Phoenix. They walk less then a mile with their pants up.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Immortan Joe‏ @farrag_saif May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I can believe that

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Paul Klewans‏ @klewans May 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @DKlewans

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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