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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion May 16

    The Onion Retweeted The Onion

    "It’s like he just vanished into thin air. He could be absolutely anywhere!"https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/996816086317391874 …

    The Onion added,

    The OnionVerified account @TheOnion
    NSA Scrambling To Reestablish Whereabouts Of Man Who Covered Laptop Camera With Tape https://trib.al/AUmAfaq  pic.twitter.com/eFKDwexmKH
    8:21 PM - 16 May 2018
    • 638 Retweets
    • 3,622 Likes
    • Catherine Shi Lucy Scherff Gogobr8 OpenedCasket (very much alive) T.Aubrey 🅱sauce Kelly Whiting David Gibson Sage0fFright
    16 replies 638 retweets 3,622 likes
      1. M_Cherry_315Ⓥ 🌹‏ @M_Cherry_315 May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They'll never find me now.pic.twitter.com/nerRCge2P4

        0 replies 0 retweets 23 likes
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      1. Dee‏ @shanaladee May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion @colbywinters

        Oh no! Have they been able to locate him yet? I have established a search party and we have started looking.pic.twitter.com/dblb4pX9vd

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Kris James, Serial Woman Respecter‏ @MrKJAL May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'm off the gridpic.twitter.com/u6vfWlQXYO

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Johnny Smite‏ @DullExcitement May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Mwahahahapic.twitter.com/NhFgiUrHZv

        This media may contain sensitive material. Learn more
        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Cameron  🍻‏ @hypo_osmotic May 17
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I know perfectly well that the NSA knows what I’m doing, I just don’t want them to have photos of me doing it.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Kristen Sparks‏ @CHSMrsSparks May 17
        Replying to @TheOnion

        this is @ghockey72

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Definitely not Jeaи‏ @sendmepizzapls May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        checkmate z u c c

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Brianna Flynn‏ @BriannaFlynnn May 17
        Replying to @Hale2theVictors @TheOnion

        Literallypic.twitter.com/bBc1l8ZNoP

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. An Unreasonable Woman‏ @licia_page May 17
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wow, with a little ingenuity, I guess you still can disappear in the digital age.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Marty Mitchell Netting‏ @mmnetting May 17
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😆

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Lauren Lynne‏ @LaurenLynne2359 May 17
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @MikeHricik 🤣

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. K. E. Quixote‏ @QueQuixote May 17
        Replying to @LaurenLynne2359 @TheOnion @MikeHricik

        Jesus Christ, that’s Jason Bourne.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Omar Figueredo‏ @elOmarFigueredo May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion @MazMHussain

        Yes, I see a lot of smart people out there doing this. Some of them even unaware that Best Buy now sells a product just for this purpose.pic.twitter.com/z4HHfILHsJ

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Kristen Stone‏ @tehkristen May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Why are you so anti-Semitic btw? I refer to your "articles" below, cursing Israel and nothing but lush sympathy for Palestine. I'm guessing, this is just a guess, some guy who works for you is Jewish so you can go with the "some of my best friends are black" defense.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. uhhhhh‏ @uhhhhh_h May 16
        Replying to @tehkristen @TheOnion

        what

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Richard Jalufka‏ @Holycowboy79 May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ummmm... ISS and Google?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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