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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion May 16

    Middle-Aged Woman Angrily Demanding Price Check On Rice Pudding Was Once Carefree Youth, Onlookers Speculate https://trib.al/GY676az pic.twitter.com/y9k8957wYY

    4:02 PM - 16 May 2018
    • 511 Retweets
    • 2,913 Likes
    • Tim Rigg Nathan Paukstelis 🌹 Kate jake James Jason House at Caleb Mʀ ᖴْ๏ّχْᴇʟᴏᴛ 🐾
    36 replies 511 retweets 2,913 likes
      1. New conversation
      2.  🎃HELL_Annette 🎃‏ @NelsonPMX May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "CAN I SEE YOUR MANAGER?!" "No."

        2 replies 0 retweets 23 likes
      3. Paris Monroe‏ @bridgesparisa May 16
        Replying to @NelsonPMX @TheOnion

        Or my favorite: "I AM THE MANAGER"

        1 reply 0 retweets 15 likes
      4. PlasmWraith151‏ @MiiJake2018 May 16
        Replying to @bridgesparisa @NelsonPMX @TheOnion

        “The manager will decide your fate.”

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. ian morrow‏ @ianmorrowLIVE May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I smoked a joint with Carol in 92. This really surprises me

        1 reply 1 retweet 21 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Spooky Scribe 🌹‏ @Scholarly_Mind May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This hits too close to home.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Spooky Scribe 🌹‏ @Scholarly_Mind May 16
        Replying to @Scholarly_Mind @TheOnion

        Mainly because I was a cashier.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4.  🔥 🚨Event HoriXZ0n 🚨 🔥‏ @HoriXZ0n May 16
        Replying to @Scholarly_Mind @TheOnion

        I’m still a cashier :’)

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. Spooky Scribe 🌹‏ @Scholarly_Mind May 16
        Replying to @HoriXZ0n @TheOnion

        I salute your dedication.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. Dojo‏ @SonnyDojo May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Nah, those kind of people have always been stunted and insufferable, even as kids.

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mite Mite‏ @AquaShotsMedia May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Love the expressions of the two waiting in line behind her.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Marina the witch  🧙🏼‍♀️ 🍂 🍁 🎃‏ @_MARINAraSAuce May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hi can I work for you my dream job is to turn my crippling fears about my future and my debt into dark humor in an effort to cope with life dm me for my resume I’m definitely not qualified for anything but I’m a good time and I always have the best snacks

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Chloé Pascual‏ @chloepascual May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sources who went to high school with the woman clarify that while she was once young, she was never carefree.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Sam Palasota‏ @SamPalasota May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Kids will do that to you

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. New conversation
      2. mmb‏ @mbt103 May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @bClickClack

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. booClickClack  👻‏ @bClickClack May 16
        Replying to @mbt103 @TheOnion

        It me but butterscotch

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. Joseph 'Trick or Eat' Satan‏ @JoeAconite May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It was 5 cents cheaper on the sign! FIVE CENTS!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        Undo
      1. L. Spooks  🦇 🍁 🎃‏ @Ambrose_TNJ May 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        . @Goodtweet_man is that your wife?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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