Breaking: it has been revealed girl did not ask to be born. More details to come.
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In other news: customers can still hear and smell
@Abercrombie 100 yards in any direction of the clothing storeThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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My mom would’ve made me stop existing if I had ever even mildly talked back. Weird
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Parenting is a joy!
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Mom’s parenting philosophy worked along the lines of the wire’s “You come at the king, you best not miss”
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Happy Mother's Day.
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@henriquedamour idk why but I just thought of so many people from back home lol -
Serious Somerset vibes
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The Onion nails it again. Humour can have an uncomfortable thread of truth running through.
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A lot of truth is said in jest. So many people don’t know what sarcasm is, it makes me sad
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The Onion and DuffelBlog for the military are two satire blogs I have seen peoples comments mistake for reality

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I need to check out duffleblog
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You guys are great. Thank you.
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Maybe it was just the lighting in there.
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