Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion May 11

    John Kelly Hoping Prejudiced Anti-Immigrant Comments Got Him Back On Trump's Good Side https://trib.al/nD5sl6P pic.twitter.com/fVK7AWn77y

    1:55 PM - 11 May 2018
    • 315 Retweets
    • 1,332 Likes
    • Barbara Tholfsen Michelle Angela Croutons 4 Life Andrew Maddox mad ☮️🍒 Kelly jack⚡️ The Indeterminator🌹 Akash Patel
    20 replies 315 retweets 1,332 likes
      1. Luke, but like, a zombie or something like that‏ @LPL8717 May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        So you're not doing comedy anymore? Just reporting the truth now?

        0 replies 0 retweets 24 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Cranky Miss Kelly‏ @kel_sed May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ha! See Onion, that's actually true!

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Riqquii the Resister 🌊‏ @ResisterThe May 13
        Replying to @TheOnion @Sharks2K20

        Disgusting and disgraceful man!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. John Favreau-Munro‏ @jfavmunro May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This isn't even a joke though.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. jay palang‏ @PalangJay May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What do you expect he is a permanent member of "Racist Incorporated of America"

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Matthew Scherer‏ @mscherer0902 May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sad to see John Kelly grovel to get out of @realDonaldTrump dog house. Is he suffering from Stockholm Syndrome? If not resign and try to reclaim your dignity.

        3 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Lucas P‏ @el_nunya May 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        More like /r/nottheonion

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ms. Waffles‏ @bunsOFplaydough May 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Perfect

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. jewel‏ @jewel55640460 May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hi

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Asa‏ @hobbster13 May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Boo hoo

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Greg‏ @BIGGEE239 May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        🤣🤣🤣 C'MON MAN

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Medusa‏ @lusamedusa May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Where’s the joke, where’s the lie

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Sandy Man‏ @ShotgunWillard May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        While this is funny (in a sad way), it’s not satire or parody.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Gilberto‏ @Gilbert44147724 May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I wonder if he thinks Trump has ever assimilated the values of America. How could he? I wonder if Kelly has any idear what assimilation means in America?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. TheQuinn‏ @TheQuinn6 May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion @allahpundit

        Ooh so you mean he said we have laws and they must be respected? Yep, sounds racist to me 🤔

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Scott‏ @scottk1350 May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Nope. Bolton wants you out.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bill Whelan‏ @wvwhelan May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        But actually

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Yesh 2k‏ @Yesh_2k May 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Poe's law.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info