Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion May 7

    Weird Man Begins Every Morning By Dousing His Naked Body In Water https://trib.al/f1G1BGi pic.twitter.com/m9SJofdPQx

    5:05 AM - 7 May 2018
    • 397 Retweets
    • 2,982 Likes
    • Taylor ✧・゚✧・゚kristen ・゚✧・゚✧ Garrett Smith steve John Sears Theo Bourquin✌️ Twisting.Tortoise Goblin Slayer Liz Drayna
    33 replies 397 retweets 2,982 likes
      1. Unrelated‏ @sublett2326 May 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Its not that weird, I do the same..

        7 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. NatsukiTheTrap‏ @natsukithetrap May 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This post was very disturbing and ruined my day, I would greatly appreciate it if @TheOnion would remove it this instant.

        0 replies 0 retweets 14 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Mridul P Jawahar‏ @Mridulpj May 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This might be fake. Onion articles are not that credible.

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      3. Matt E. Gottfried‏ @mattgo90 May 7
        Replying to @Mridulpj @TheOnion

        Except some people do do that so it’s real.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. John‏ @JohnLakeshow May 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Better than dousing yourself in fire.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Mangobyte‏ @asigmaenigma May 7
        Replying to @JohnLakeshow @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/1AVu22ICmZ

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Alex Jay Brady‏ @AlexJayBrady May 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I dont mind fantasizing about what people do behind closed doors but do they have to ram their hot naked bodies down our throats???

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Toony‏ @WhatsUpToonboy May 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Unheard of!.. absurd!.. I never heard anything like that!

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Hunter‏ @realdanwolken May 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Damn that’s weird

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. Zack‏ @cheezgi May 7
        Replying to @realdanwolken @TheOnion

        I bet he rubs soap on himself too

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. exarmyofficer‏ @exarmyofficer1 May 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Precisely what goes through a cat's mind.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Siddhant Dubey‏ @sid_dubey0312 May 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        R/madlads

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Richard Schwindt‏ @rgschwindt May 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My wife wanted me to do that...

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. E_Basabe‏ @E_Basabe May 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Seriously, who does that?

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jorge Gutierrez‏ @Jooorjay May 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Absolute madman

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. gabriel montreuil #WeWuzMetokur‏ @chiyouman May 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is that you @Veeh_Ro ?

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Manic Brainbow‏ @BrainbowManic May 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/GvDvLwRHd1

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info