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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion May 4

    Amazon Fires Warehouse Worker Who Took Unauthorized Breath https://trib.al/En6puvp pic.twitter.com/j7gXeFNJY5

    7:58 AM - 4 May 2018
    • 675 Retweets
    • 3,078 Likes
    • Adam Paul Compton Dancing In Moonlight ahhhhhhhhh Mike Lisafer Tracey Suits blandclanvideos Linda Avitt chaz
    26 replies 675 retweets 3,078 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Sam Claussen‏ @sjohnclaussen May 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Impressed by his amount of breaks and general neglect, Wal-Mart soon after recruited him.

        1 reply 0 retweets 15 likes
      3. Ryan Cruz‏ @irl_ry May 6
        Replying to @sjohnclaussen @TheOnion

        U should work for the onion

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Sam Claussen‏ @sjohnclaussen May 7
        Replying to @irl_ry @TheOnion

        If you know Mr. Onion, please put in good word for me

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Big Facts  😤‏ @the3rdcoming_ May 4
        Replying to @TheOnion @sterrcules

        pic.twitter.com/jhM0qImjfg

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. boingboingbbeep‏ @boingboingbbeep May 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Amazon stock took a .000000000001% dip on the news!

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Tom Arnold‏ @sparnyarnold May 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Do robots need to breathe?

        2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Hayden Shafer‏ @HaydenShafer May 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @jonathanbuntin

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Gur Gosal‏ @guresmax1 May 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Stockholder had a sigh of relief

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Reid‏ @izludehyral1 May 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        worked at amazon. Can confirm. :D

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. NikkiLynn Michaelson‏ @MichaelsonFace May 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oof, too real! Too real!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Frank Mansfield‏ @Feef715 May 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They had a job fair in NJ last year. They didn't tell you they had openings because they just fired half their warehouse staff. OMG they are Heeee-larious.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Skechy Max Normal‏ @bustmykeyboard May 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "@TheOnion: Amazon Fires Warehouse Worker Who Took Unauthorized Breath https://trib.al/En6puvp  pic.twitter.com/Zw1r0dmI1f"

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. a L E X eckstein‏ @lexeckstasy May 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        i thought that was apple

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom May 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Going green and watching carbon emissions? Have they started monitoring silent farts yet? Monitoring body temp for excess? Recycling sweat?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tommy McPines‏ @TMcpines May 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        No wonder my bubble packing is always broken

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Ryn-0‏ @RyanPaulaskas May 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Try working for @PepperidgeFarm ... where EVERY SINGLE DAY you report for you shift ‘5-10min early’ and NEVER know what time it ends...in 2018! Yes, every single day you’d never know what time you’ll finish...

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Ryn-0‏ @RyanPaulaskas May 4
        Replying to @RyanPaulaskas @TheOnion @PepperidgeFarm

        And if a family emergency should happen and you must leave early, that’s 1/2 an ‘attendance point’...5 of those and you’re FIRED...that’s in addition to the 25-50 min EVERY WEEK THAT YOULL WORK FOR FREE...

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Joshua Gault‏ @JoshuaGault1 May 4
        Replying to @RyanPaulaskas @TheOnion @PepperidgeFarm

        I mean, there are a lot of jobs that are crappy and abusive like that though. Unfortunately.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. John‏ @JohnLakeshow May 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/TppWEVzYjz

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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