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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Apr 30

    Torrent Of Soap Issues From Wildly Unexpected Part Of Dispenser https://trib.al/8ehaNNv pic.twitter.com/lN4RHzJYYi

    5:37 AM - 30 Apr 2018
    • 366 Retweets
    • 2,771 Likes
    • Lil Soyboy Jack Bradley Bobby Black Leon Hewer Éanna Kelly Brandon Moore Alex J Krupa Patel Nish 🍃
    15 replies 366 retweets 2,771 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. 𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊 𝙼𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎 𝙱𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚎‏ @aliciamestre Apr 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @allie_wanders_ this is about your damn soap dispenser #salty

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Allie Kelly‏ @allie_kelly_ Apr 30
        Replying to @aliciamestre @TheOnion

        It’s just the way that it expresses its love for us, by getting our shirts clean in micro-spots

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 Apr 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That’s not soap.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. else{}‏ @leighelse Apr 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I've had that happen and it's all the more distressing for being completely unexpected. Take care out there, folks.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 Apr 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Funny thing... same thing happened to me after they performed my piercing...pic.twitter.com/tvvY8WuZfv

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Texas Chainsaw Masen-cre  🎃‏ @dockers_clutch Apr 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Looks like someone found the clit

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. nick‏ @nickhgale Apr 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @callum_may

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. ArtDesignMusic‏ @Wonderwoman1fan Apr 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        OMG you HAVE to do one for when the hand sanitizer pump gets gunked up and then shoots randomly within a 300 degree radius and onto the floor when you press it 😂

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. simon greedwell‏ @p00b07 May 1
        Replying to @Wonderwoman1fan @TheOnion

        The sanitizer pump tried to moneyshot me in the eye yesterday and I had to matrix dodge it. The threat is real people

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. ArtDesignMusic‏ @Wonderwoman1fan May 1
        Replying to @p00b07 @TheOnion

        😂😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. Kyle‏ @mythicalpizza Apr 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I did this the other day

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tommy McPines‏ @TMcpines Apr 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Probably 13

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Reba Jonez‏ @rebajonez Apr 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #torrent

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Col Smith‏ @Dangerman_2 Apr 30
        Replying to @TheOnion @SquigglyRick

        Like a "I'll cum on your face moment, but not tell you."

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ty Love‏ @moriya2k2 Apr 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hasn't happened yet, but I could see it happening.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Data Creationist‏ @bistromath2013 Apr 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The Onion is a vital part of my day.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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