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The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Apr 25

    World Wildlife Fund Announces New Breeding Program To Create Way More Squirrels Than Necessary https://trib.al/qw8sSLx pic.twitter.com/k6kCODEmjZ

    7:57 AM - 25 Apr 2018
    • 137 Retweets
    • 739 Likes
    • Tomeho Paul Pierre-Simon Laplace Skelegunk 💀 Sam Fremin ☄️ Nick Marc Schaus elGordo Marianne Charlotte Art Intergalactic Junior Dog Trainers
    21 replies 137 retweets 739 likes
      1. Chris Day‏ @williemoeday Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This new breeding program already underway in my backyard.pic.twitter.com/HwXECAKCtt

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. The Angry Liberal‏ @angryandliberal Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        UP NEXT: On Wall Street, squirrel futures plummet 65%.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Thomas theTrainwreck‏ @TommyDSIV Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @jerkyteej

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Bonzo tour2011‏ @Bonzotour2011 Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        One squirrel per park is all that is necessary.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. jasmine‏ @jasminemichigan Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yikes!🤦‍♀️

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. carlo todaro‏ @juventus777JETS Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Exactly what do you mean by “ breeding” there are many meanings .

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Jenn‏ @MoonlightVoodoo Apr 25
        Replying to @juventus777JETS @TheOnion

        Squirrel porn.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Amr Samir‏ @avoidaccess Apr 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Governments should be consulted on this, they are experienced in creating unnecessary stress and fear of imaginary enemies while befriending our real enemies..

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. max358‏ @max358 Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        begging the question, "just how many squirrels are necessary? can there be too many?" squirrels are industrious. security conscious as they hide their nuts from each other. frankly, just the sorts that'll MAGA!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Dad2grls‏ @john37221 Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My lawn this morning

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. The Colon‏ @thecolonnews Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        https://www.thecolonnews.com/single-post/2018/04/23/DementiaAffectingSquirrelPopulation …

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. connor but spooky‏ @Manners16 Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Make it happen!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jo‏ @triteflower2018 Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I have a recipe for Squirrel Stew like Grandma used to make - if anyone needs it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jennifer Smead‏ @Jennifer_Smead Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yes! Finally I can start beta testing my squirrel GoPro surveillance system! #ICanSeeYou #NeverMoreSquirrelsThanNecessary #SquirrelProofFeederMyAss

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. harpospeaks‏ @harpospeaks717 Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        so, that explains Congress.......

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. glas‏ @cleclerc11 Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Brockport

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tom Moore‏ @tommoore2004 Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        is this a plan to alleviate world hunger? Toasted squirrel bits! just like Fallout 4!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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