Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Apr 24

    Stormy Daniels, James Comey Arrive At White House For State Dinner https://trib.al/AQaOo9E pic.twitter.com/Igq6laoLnS

    4:30 PM - 24 Apr 2018
    • 950 Retweets
    • 3,974 Likes
    • Chris PervBabes Christina Flannagan Elisabeth Eyre Pierre-Simon Laplace L Presser Emilio De La Mora 🎃Eric Hayden🎃 Good Man
    127 replies 950 retweets 3,974 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Rob Woodyard‏ @robwoodyard1 Apr 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Totally photoshopped (she was wearing a red dress, not black).

        4 replies 0 retweets 31 likes
      3. Jesse Salazar‏ @JesseInDisguise Apr 24
        Replying to @robwoodyard1 @TheOnion

        snap, i totes thought it was legit

        1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Geoffrey Sullivan‏ @SullyGMoney Apr 24
        Replying to @TheOnion @Rushluver

        I just threw up in my mouth.

        1 reply 1 retweet 3 likes
      3.  🇺🇸Sherri Massoli 🇺🇸‏ @sherri_massoli Apr 24
        Replying to @SullyGMoney @Rushluver @TheOnion

        Me too!

        1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
      4. jayynecobb‏ @JayyneCobb Apr 25
        Replying to @sherri_massoli @SullyGMoney and

        i just threw up in someone elses mouth

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Stephen McLean‏ @sfm_42 Apr 24
        Replying to @TheOnion @seanagnew

        She's not that tall

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      3. Shem Horne‏ @Shem_Infinite Apr 24
        Replying to @sfm_42 @TheOnion @seanagnew

        Stephen McLean, noted height critic.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. Stephen McLean‏ @sfm_42 Apr 24
        Replying to @Shem_Infinite @TheOnion @seanagnew

        You've heard off me, sweet

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Sherri‏ @SociallySherri Apr 24
        Replying to @TheOnion @Cernovich

        This is obviously fake news - Comey would be wearing a linen colored suit so he could blend into the drapes when POTUS walks by. 😎

        1 reply 1 retweet 12 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Shem Horne‏ @Shem_Infinite Apr 24
        Replying to @TheOnion @drawandstrike

        Anderson Cooper's reaction:pic.twitter.com/F6vcDrcCSY

        0 replies 0 retweets 20 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. LightenUP MF‏ @LightenUpMF Apr 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Breaking News - Ted Nugent shoot waiter at Trumps State Dinner,citing Second Amendment rights to better service.

        0 replies 1 retweet 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. JoyousWarrior‏ @joyouswarrior Apr 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oh The Onion still has it!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 11 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Bool‏ @tomservo10 Apr 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He can kill a man 9 ways with his bowtie. She can kill 1000 with her charms. Together they are STOMEY. This fall on ABC.

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. Gamera  ❤️'s  🎃‏ @mike_at_battle Apr 24
        Replying to @tomservo10 @TheOnion

        They’re Cops!

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Bool‏ @tomservo10 Apr 24
        Replying to @mike_at_battle @TheOnion

        THEY'RE GOOD COPS! I'm going to keep writing this joke and you are going to keep making it better. 😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. Dulce Vida‏ @bg2cts Apr 24
        Replying to @TheOnion @drawandstrike

        Thanks for a good laugh.

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. steven pettis‏ @Dillydally367 Apr 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        its a trappic.twitter.com/I1fWt4MwlN

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      3. 1 more reply

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info