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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Apr 23

    Raccoon Crushed To Death By Garbage Truck Hits Jackpot With Reincarnation https://trib.al/iUoOY0S pic.twitter.com/bW2ioWq0AB

    10:20 AM - 23 Apr 2018
    • 14,425 Retweets
    • 48,817 Likes
    • 🎃  s p o o k y   k a t  🎃 Jennifer Saunder Heather Hamphrey Zach Philbin Ronnie Whaley 🇵🇭 Zoë Abigail Broken Azulejos DADDYNXTDOOR🌹
    221 replies 14,425 retweets 48,817 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Wallah B‏ @harangaman Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I don’t believe in reincarnation and I didn’t believe in it when I was a frog

        4 replies 9 retweets 337 likes
      3. Gur Gosal‏ @guresmax1 Apr 23
        Replying to @harangaman @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/VSGp5nCGf1

        5 replies 1 retweet 120 likes
      4. Wallah B‏ @harangaman Apr 23
        Replying to @guresmax1 @TheOnion

        🤣🤣

        0 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Kohli Heman‏ @HemanKohli Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/PndwNkp0JC

        3 replies 4 retweets 231 likes
      3. 6ShotsSouth‏ @6ShotsSouth Apr 24
        Replying to @HemanKohli @TheOnion

        Now that right there is funny I dont care who you are.

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      4. Kohli Heman‏ @HemanKohli Apr 24
        Replying to @6ShotsSouth @TheOnion

        Laughter is the best Medicine for all the disease...

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Crayoh‏ @crayoh Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Until that male pattern baldness emerges...

        2 replies 0 retweets 59 likes
      3. Eric Muirhead‏ @emuirhead Apr 23
        Replying to @crayoh @TheOnion

        It's on the X chromosome. Raccoon is still lucky.

        0 replies 0 retweets 20 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Leigh be happy‏ @1eighAnne Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/eQW29J03wA

        0 replies 2 retweets 41 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Blandishmentbob‏ @Blandishmentbob Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Reincarnation Jackpot, my last refuge

        0 replies 0 retweets 118 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Count Dizzula  🧛‍♀️‏ @clizzledizzle Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        w2g little dudepic.twitter.com/8wEwOmu0Vx

        0 replies 2 retweets 17 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Dick Cheney Jr‏ @Bigcoffinhunt Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion @almurray

        Unemployed couple on benefits have ANOTHER baby on the tax payers expense! What will the Daily Mail have to say about this? #royalbaby3

        0 replies 2 retweets 15 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. car 🎃line‏ @caredee Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "did @rimaparikh12 write that?" -@Corn_Star_Gorl

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Rima Parikh‏ @rimaparikh12 Apr 23
        Replying to @caredee @TheOnion

        Not to be a narcissist but I was also wondering who wrote this and whether they’re aware that I invented both raccoons and reincarnation

        1 reply 1 retweet 4 likes
      4. Rima Parikh‏ @rimaparikh12 Apr 23
        Replying to @rimaparikh12 @caredee @TheOnion

        But really I deadass thought someone stole my joke for a minute and it made me very upset lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Jessi Langsen‏ @jlangsen Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        A real live LOL. People on the tube are looking.

        0 replies 0 retweets 28 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Claire Hartnell‏ @ClaireJHartnell Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Do you think when they deliver royal babies, the midwife says: “he’s perfect ma’am, six fingers, six toes.”

        0 replies 1 retweet 14 likes
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      1. Laurie Kilmartin‏ @anylaurie16 Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        haha

        0 replies 2 retweets 8 likes
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        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. M.‏ @SineWave180 Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Man, doesn’t she need some rest? Standing there holding the baby immediately after delivery? Do the royals have some other technique to deliver a baby?

        1 reply 0 retweets 16 likes
      3. Kosher Samosa‏ @qu1j0t3 Apr 24
        Replying to @SineWave180 @TheOnion

        There's definitely a cover-up here. I expect they stole the baby from a pauper.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation

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