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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Apr 23

    Deceitful Woman Deviously Alters Appearance To Give Illusion Of Youth, Fertility https://trib.al/SFNg77r pic.twitter.com/ibbPkqFYMH

    5:47 AM - 23 Apr 2018
    • 163 Retweets
    • 1,154 Likes
    • Pierre-Simon Laplace Lateralyst 2.0🎼📝🉐⤴️ im hiding from HR Levon Jody Williams Chaos Adam Zenko Diormi Ash Delanev La Marko
    20 replies 163 retweets 1,154 likes
      1. Anders Larsson‏ @ctoLarsson Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yes that stuff can be dangerous. I recommend to wear protection at all times.pic.twitter.com/bf7yosDq6I

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. boingboingbbeep‏ @boingboingbbeep Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Area misogynist shocked,at how much older she looks in the morning light,as he tries to sneak out the door!

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. Boop‏ @b140tweet Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The neck always tells the age.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Michael Rupert‏ @iztraveln Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        .@TheOnion #DeepState The deep state’s diabolical agenda knows no bounds.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Ed Drennen‏ @EdDrennen1 Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Vanity thy name is womanpic.twitter.com/ghizeX4LkW

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Jonsey‏ @jnzkngs Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Men look good without makeup because there isn't an entire industry built on telling them they can't.

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Kelly Cooper‏ @narboink Apr 23
        Replying to @jnzkngs @TheOnion

        Personally, I look good without makeup because I'm delusional.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Jonsey‏ @jnzkngs Apr 23
        Replying to @narboink @TheOnion

        I did before I quit drinking. 😢

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Steven D‏ @Stevessvt Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        GILF.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        She doesn’t have a man?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Doctor Flog‏ @BoxSniffa Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #NotAllWomen

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. MAIN STREAM MAGA  🇺🇸 USA‏ @josephv777 Apr 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Dammnnnnn

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Enix‏ @theenixsquared Apr 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        BASED

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jeremy Edwards‏ @J_Roc1971 Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It’s witchcraft, the Devils magic. It totally works though cuz she looks super fine. 😍

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. We Gonna Be Alright‏ @RobFromSac Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This headline is from 5 BC.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Blindmelon‏ @BlindMelon1967 Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hey, it worked. Look at that smile! She took half the guy's stuff who married her without a prenup and then divorced her upon finding "old faithful" had actually dried up a decade ago. That's what happens when you don't take it for a test drive.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Pierr Dantis‏ @dante_pierro Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That witch. How manipulative. Said man with fake Rolex

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Klahan  🇰🇭  🇨🇦 🐶‏ @Noko_Muzik Apr 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Almost every girl unfortunately.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3.  🎃 Jinnifer Douglass  🎃‏ @JI_N_NYC Apr 23
        Replying to @Noko_Muzik @TheOnion

        Cry more

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Klahan  🇰🇭  🇨🇦 🐶‏ @Noko_Muzik Apr 23
        Replying to @JI_N_NYC @TheOnion

        Take a pic of my ass.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation

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