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The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Apr 22

    Woman Mentally Rifles Through Friends For Perfect Person To Sympathize With Current Pettiness https://trib.al/voxz1F1 pic.twitter.com/dI5H1JBwvP

    2:00 PM - 22 Apr 2018
    • 460 Retweets
    • 2,744 Likes
    • ؜​ Leah alexle Bailey Haggis Bùi Ngọc Linh bingo bango bongo Alex 🕷🕸 Zales Joyner 🅱️rian's ghost
    20 replies 460 retweets 2,744 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Christine Mattson‏ @ChristneMattson Apr 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @MorganLutte @MeagClare @elisaplaysflute

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Morgan‏ @MorganLutte Apr 22
        Replying to @ChristneMattson @TheOnion and

        Sounds right

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Taryn Kilgore‏ @tarynckk Apr 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Ryder3113 omg

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Sarah Emily‏ @Ryder3113 Apr 22
        Replying to @tarynckk @TheOnion

        Lets not pretend that this isn’t 100% tru tho

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Barry McGowan Art‏ @artbaz101 Apr 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Woman shocked to find her self-pitying status updates aren't as popular as her cleavage-heavy selfies.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. David Shortt‏ @AdMan0828 Apr 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Equally applies to guys too 😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. name here‏ @breaddrink1 Apr 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        A sexist generalizing joke, in this day and age? Kind of refreshing. High five.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. rc 🌺gc‏ @_rcgc Apr 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Same

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Liz  🌟‏ @lizzmina Apr 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @hannah_mesches snatched

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3. hannah‏ @hannah_mesches Apr 22
        Replying to @lizzmina @TheOnion

        I’m adding @blvcksalsa to this as well

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. 1 more reply
      1. Lesley King‏ @LesleyKing27 Apr 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It’s always you, @SJules2u 😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jack Amphlett‏ @JackAmphlett1 Apr 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @LoseYourFlames

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jupiter Star Power!‏ @jupiterstarpwr Apr 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I find it’s a real time saver to only befriend other petty people 💁🏻‍♀️

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Destined4Greatness‏ @BeachChairNY Apr 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This literally happens everyday

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1.  🦇Hallowian 🎃Bionic 🦇‏ @ianbionic Apr 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @cubsput

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jack Conklin‏ @_Miyatake_ Apr 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @lisaqu7

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Christine USA  🇺🇸‏ @BerkCarlt Apr 25
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. kai_mccoy‏ @kai_mccoy Apr 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It’s me! I’m the perfect match for awful pettiness and general misanthropy.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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