This is incredible. Pure genius. Well done! Seriously, it's amazing how The Onion feels far more sensible and realistic than most legitimate headlines during this presidency.
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Please stop reporting the truth
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Considering that the ABC news headline a few minutes ago was about a woman playing Pokemon go who found a missing old man with dementia in a park (had a double take, thought it was an onion feed) I'm not surprised. The attention span of a human almost rivals that of a gnat.
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This is really well done, but boy does it make me sad.
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Funny
, but I worked in advertising and know that this is trueThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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And how they whined like victims during those hours..
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Is there a network like that for people who are mid-50s and above and getting laid off after the company they've worked 32 years for sends their jobs overseas? Asking for a friend...who's getting laid off next week.
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Yeah, except not always the case some men have a hard time getting through it. ideal world yeah great but this MeToo crap lingers.
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Crap? If you've committed sexual harassment or assault in the workplace you deserve everything you get in regards to losing your job and the aftermath.
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“Several hours”......
how about SEVERAL YEARS!! 
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These male characters in this satirical story ADMIT they committed sexual harassment in the workplace, but you are so hateful of the
#MeToo
movement that you STILL stand up for these fictional men instead of the fictional women they harassed?!?!
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Not a chance!
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Not a chance of what?
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Its great to be a white man in this country
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Funny, not funny.
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The struggle is real
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So funnyThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Should take many years
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