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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Apr 19

    Mom Makes Sure Everyone Has Masturbated Before Long Car Ride https://trib.al/51sCXjQ pic.twitter.com/lrwewUUFaQ

    9:18 AM - 19 Apr 2018
    • 707 Retweets
    • 3,776 Likes
    • Sugar Boy 💦 Rory McNatton James Hordaland jhin 💕 3P0SER Matt Ritchie john Andy Randall
    88 replies 707 retweets 3,776 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Lou Pope‏ @loubird23 Apr 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        this is the UGLIEST thing I have ever read. am going to delete my Twitter Account.

        5 replies 10 retweets 35 likes
      3. SKÎ‏ @robbski300 Apr 19
        Replying to @loubird23 @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/DKqqMswe2u

        1 reply 1 retweet 65 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. chad maxey‏ @MaxeyChad Apr 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This was brought to by our proud partners at Axe body spray.

        0 replies 1 retweet 11 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. (((Seekingreality)))‏ @SeekingReality7 Apr 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Don't laugh. This would have saved Louie CK's career.

        0 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. What a Spooky Time to be Alive‏ @mrd125 Apr 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ew. Also, lol.

        0 replies 0 retweets 14 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. New conversation
      2. Donnie Zest‏ @DonnieZest Apr 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If the story was written about a Dad and his daughters.....would it be published?? Can you say child abuse? Such garbage! Disgusting @theonion

        8 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Bobby Baccalieri‏ @BobbyBacala201 Apr 19
        Replying to @DonnieZest @TheOnion

        Child abuse of the non existant children? Get some help dude

        1 reply 0 retweets 27 likes
      4. Donnie Zest‏ @DonnieZest Apr 19
        Replying to @BobbyBacala201 @TheOnion

        Please explain I don’t understand!

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Charlie D. Lorz‏ @charlie_lorz Apr 19
        Replying to @DonnieZest @BobbyBacala201 @TheOnion

        The onion is satire. What's to understand? It's a joke.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. Donnie Zest‏ @DonnieZest Apr 19
        Replying to @charlie_lorz @BobbyBacala201 @TheOnion

        That’s one way to see it! Thanks

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. End of conversation
      1. Terry Graff‏ @paleboy69 Apr 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @JoshGraff1 and you thought it was just me. @thadiscoolyeah @mattsondag no matter what Josh says I was a great parent ahead of my time

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
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      1. The Official Gay Guy‏ @lomlplexTOGG Apr 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Are we THERE yet?pic.twitter.com/J09HuCNHG2

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Some random guy‏ @_whosmanisthis_ Apr 19
        Replying to @jarrodmg @TheOnion

        And the "comment of the day" award goes to...

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Hank‏ @HankCharlesIII Apr 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Good parenting skills right there

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Nick Ciniak‏ @marcinick19 Apr 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @nkal23

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Nathan‏ @nkal23 Apr 19
        Replying to @marcinick19 @TheOnion

        For a 3 hour car ride is the best part lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Elena sin H™‏ @elnumart Apr 19
        Replying to @TheOnion @Seanchuckle

        Wtf??

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Zubair Alam‏ @ZUBAIRALAMPK Apr 19
        Replying to @elnumart @TheOnion @Seanchuckle

        What's wrong with it?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Elena sin H™‏ @elnumart Apr 19
        Replying to @ZUBAIRALAMPK @TheOnion @Seanchuckle

        I just did not expect it haha

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Zubair Alam‏ @ZUBAIRALAMPK Apr 20
        Replying to @elnumart @TheOnion @Seanchuckle

        Hahahaha the news was also strange to me. I really laughed a lot.

        1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
      6. Elena sin H™‏ @elnumart Apr 20
        Replying to @ZUBAIRALAMPK @TheOnion @Seanchuckle

        my face was like "wtf?" but I laughed too hahaha yes

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      7. Zubair Alam‏ @ZUBAIRALAMPK Apr 20
        Replying to @elnumart @TheOnion @Seanchuckle

        I think one should make oneself relax before going for a long journey. Relaxation in any form not only the lady mention I.e masturbation.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      8. Elena sin H™‏ @elnumart Apr 21
        Replying to @ZUBAIRALAMPK @TheOnion @Seanchuckle

        I prefer listen music for example haha

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      9. End of conversation

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