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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Apr 12

    Man Struggling To Pierce Orange Peel With Fingernail Under Impression He Could Kill If He Had To https://trib.al/GbNahF9 pic.twitter.com/4G9odtgSIQ

    7:11 AM - 12 Apr 2018
    • 1,109 Retweets
    • 7,267 Likes
    • elliot Trevor Addison™ Dylan Ruth Grace Stevenson 🐦 DoRcAs kaylie s(hes) br(ok)en 😞 running thru the graveyard w my woes
    41 replies 1,109 retweets 7,267 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. BooOOOlee  👻‏ @jooblee Apr 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Every Trump supporter.

        2 replies 0 retweets 22 likes
      3. Skull Face HONDA San‏ @OldHondaCivic Apr 12
        Replying to @jooblee @TheOnion

        Honestly what does that even mean. Like if it made sense it would be funny but you just come off as brain dead

        3 replies 2 retweets 53 likes
      4. BooOOOlee  👻‏ @jooblee Apr 12
        Replying to @OldHondaCivic @TheOnion

        I feel okay about it.

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      5. Skull Face HONDA San‏ @OldHondaCivic Apr 12
        Replying to @jooblee @TheOnion

        Atleast you have a cool bird

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      6. Andyland‏ @AJScab Apr 12
        Replying to @OldHondaCivic @jooblee @TheOnion

        Unable to process how to overcome the simplest of obstacles theyre liable to resort to a dangerous overreaction based on a threat to their emotional stability.

        2 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
      7. Skull Face HONDA San‏ @OldHondaCivic Apr 12
        Replying to @AJScab @jooblee @TheOnion

        Imagine using such a silly scenario to try and prove a political point. Keep reaching dumbass

        1 reply 0 retweets 15 likes
      8. Andyland‏ @AJScab Apr 12
        Replying to @OldHondaCivic @jooblee @TheOnion

        I'm not the one who needed it written out in crayon. No reaching required, just Crayola.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      9. Skull Face HONDA San‏ @OldHondaCivic Apr 12
        Replying to @AJScab @jooblee @TheOnion

        Ok here's the thing tho you didn't write anything you basically drew a piece of shit and tried to tell me it was English (in crayons)

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      10. 2 more replies
      1. Drawnder and Writening  🇵🇷‏ @Drawnder Apr 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I COULD JUST PEEL A MAN!

        0 replies 0 retweets 14 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. marea rosa 🐝‏ @smrt_fasizmu Apr 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        bite it you goob

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. terrie cannon‏ @terrie3056 Apr 12
        Replying to @smrt_fasizmu @TheOnion

        😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Michael Armstrong‏ @wrongarmstrong Apr 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Also under impression he can obfuscate before congress about sneaky app created in dorm room.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. New conversation
      2. Brian Ecker‏ @BrianEcker Apr 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Life hack: You can bite into the rind to start an area to peel!

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Scelata, Repentant Goatist‏ @TheScelata Apr 12
        Replying to @BrianEcker @TheOnion

        Eww. But is it my imagination or does the orange-peeling kid look like Zuckerberg?

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. David Humphrey‏ @beacon_humphrey Apr 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There are so many days I fall into this category.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Tony D‏ @biff725 Apr 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Why didn't he just use his nose. Oh Snap!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Drawnder and Writening  🇵🇷‏ @Drawnder Apr 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Stick your finger in the center and then peel out from there, until the life leaves his eyes.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Faizaan‏ @faizaan723 Apr 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Don't call me out like this

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. DrJimbo‏ @DrJimbo32 Apr 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @tom__moran

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Tom Moran‏ @tom__moran Apr 12
        Replying to @DrJimbo32 @TheOnion

        Always an unsuspecting, yet worthy foe.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation

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