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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Apr 10

    Parents Spend First 4 Years Of Child’s Life Fluctuating Wildly Between Hoping Child Stays Asleep, Hoping Child Wakes Up https://trib.al/un5c49p pic.twitter.com/f5bmFzgTOR

    1:45 PM - 10 Apr 2018
    • 233 Retweets
    • 1,556 Likes
    • Kristín Soffía Clea Badion Nicole K. Dani_Lee83 Jeremy Bearimy chris pher Mammad Osmanov 🇳🇴 Anthony 🦁
    22 replies 233 retweets 1,556 likes
      1. Nope‏ @shiloe101 Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My daily life is ruled by trying to get my 4 yo to nap but then if he doesn't by 4pm, pulling out all apps to keep him awake until 8pm. I live in those small window times.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Björn Björnsson‏ @HymanKaplan Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        After that they spend the next 20 years hoping it will shut up!😎

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Kevin‏ @tatramtn Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And waking them up when they fall asleep, to make sure they are ok.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Hartley‏ @HartleyGunner Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @sillymousse know this feeling all too well.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Sam‏ @samhancockfirst Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @krisdeenn

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. sunn i)))‏ @blessyrheartxvx Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @mittenburger

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Ginny T. Jones‏ @ginnytjones Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @johndanieljones

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Daniel Jones‏ @johndanieljones Apr 10
        Replying to @ginnytjones

        Mostly sleep

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. D‏ @suckatsports Apr 11
        Replying to @TheOnion @demeatloaf

        I'm glad a whole new world of jokes is now open to you.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Cedi Osman fan account‏ @demeatloaf Apr 11
        Replying to @suckatsports @TheOnion

        It's so accurate

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. D‏ @suckatsports Apr 11
        Replying to @demeatloaf @TheOnion

        Absolutely. I remember standing creepily over her to see breathing.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. janeÞ‏ @nopittie Apr 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Truth.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Caleb Crawdad‏ @Slappymcshane Apr 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @larachism0622 💀💀💀💀

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Kyle‏ @Klyvis3412 Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @alanabanana1

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Kelly Bartlett‏ @KLBartlett Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        OMG. Your life! Lmao

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Blindmelon‏ @BlindMelon1967 Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        After 4 years they just hope the child never wakes up.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Lily‏ @lilygreen_ Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @randypitcherii

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