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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Apr 10

    Mike Pence Horrified By D.C. Cherry Trees Flagrantly Displaying Reproductive Organs https://trib.al/N1h50YN pic.twitter.com/CDXpR2oLNH

    10:37 AM - 10 Apr 2018
    • 3,907 Retweets
    • 16,206 Likes
    • Xsdf24 Stephen Burr Forman Julie Longoria Tanya Vaughan Caroline Hibbard Melody, the Flavorful Furry Ristic03 👅 Erik Johnson
    135 replies 3,907 retweets 16,206 likes
      1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Apr 10

        .@VP Mike Pence: "Oh, no, this is completely disgusting." https://trib.al/FVIGLFJ pic.twitter.com/aSVg4q0lg4

        17 replies 94 retweets 793 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. rich plummer‏ @arekaypee19055 Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'm surprised Mother let him get that close to them with out a chaperon.

        1 reply 1 retweet 117 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Rhys‏ @RhysWortham Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It looks like a dramatic scene during an action movie where the main protagonist who's a millionaire realize he made a grave mistake.

        3 replies 0 retweets 18 likes
      3. Kendall Foster‏ @KendallSFoster Apr 10
        Replying to @RhysWortham @TheOnion

        *antagonist

        1 reply 0 retweets 21 likes
      4. Rhys‏ @RhysWortham Apr 11
        Replying to @KendallSFoster @TheOnion

        That's the plot twist damn it! Next time #spoilers it. Lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Apoyo‏ @BolD_Apoyo Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        REPORT: WH Cabinet Not Sure How To Tell Mike Pence Conversion Therapy Will Not Fix Middle East

        1 reply 1 retweet 12 likes
      3. Apoyo‏ @BolD_Apoyo Apr 10
        Replying to @BolD_Apoyo @TheOnion

        "Every staff meeting when the Middle East comes up, like clockwork, his hand energetically shoots up--you can just hear the excitement squeaking out of his mouth. Bless his heart." - Chief of Staff, John Kelly

        1 reply 0 retweets 12 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. Blindmelon‏ @BlindMelon1967 Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        After he calmed down he buried his head in his wife's bosom and cried. Then he spent 3 days praying for forgiveness for looking at the reproductive organs on the cherry tree as well as burying his head in his wife's bosom for non reproductive reasons.

        0 replies 1 retweet 16 likes
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      1. Luke, but like, a zombie or something like that‏ @LPL8717 Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I don't think he knows plants reproduce. He thinks new plants start to grow due to the prayers of christian children. As long as they don't have gay parents.

        0 replies 0 retweets 26 likes
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      1. Hanna E‏ @lil__intro_vert Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When cherry trees give you morning wood

        0 replies 0 retweets 26 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Cordero of Aragon II‏ @CordMarin100 Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion @danie5794

        If only his wife was there to make sure no improper thoughts bubble up in his head. 😇

        1 reply 0 retweets 18 likes
      3. danielle‏ @danie5794 Apr 10
        Replying to @CordMarin100 @TheOnion

        Ha ha🤣🤣

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Mr. Oldman‏ @lesshairmoregas Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        In his own backyard he spends all day keeping the birds separated from the bees.

        1 reply 0 retweets 23 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Pauline Dear‏ @PaulineClaraMar Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He should never look carefully at orchids. Just saying.

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
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      1. tsprocess‏ @tsprocess Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wait till he hears that they engage in pollination...

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
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      1. Back In St. Olaf...‏ @brevolve Apr 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Once wandered by a Georgia O’Keefe exhibit and lost consciousness for half an hour.

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
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