Don't think the family of that child think this is particularly funny. Neither do I.
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If you have no sense of humor why do you read these?
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* <-- you are here, Onion. The line is here-----> |
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They had me at coxswain.
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You'll never catch me or anybody I love on a roller coaster or water slide if I can help it. They are fucking dangerous and there seems to be no oversight. You hear about it all the time. There are other ways to get your adrenaline going that do not involve this kind of thing.
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Be careful. One of the Republicans might us this statement like what happened this week. Actually quoting TheOnion. Sad!
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Ban slides
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It's been proven. Just letting you know. Also, don't reproduce.
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We should hang every 10th slide, so the slides remember their place!
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If you're going to execute the slide too, don't use an electric chair. Plastic gives off nasty chemicals when it burns.
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