Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 28

    5th-Grade Teacher Can Already Tell Kids About To Go Apeshit For Ending Of ‘The Giver’ https://trib.al/4NAdQ8F pic.twitter.com/ukLY1mRlFj

    7:57 AM - 28 Mar 2018
    • 400 Retweets
    • 2,567 Likes
    • stupid name Gracilis Lindsey Liz Steelman Flirrble Flub Spooky Halloween Pumpkin Dan Jacob Lorenzo Quiogue Alex Zapata
    20 replies 400 retweets 2,567 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Jim -*-26 days until Election Day-*-‏ @iproteus Mar 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Shit, I wasn't assigned the giver until 9th grade.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Robby S‏ @thegreenrobby Mar 28
        Replying to @iproteus @TheOnion

        7th here. I'm not sure how 5th graders would handle that piece.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. Krooked 💀‏ @Krooked777 Mar 28
        Replying to @thegreenrobby @iproteus @TheOnion

        I read it my self in elementary

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. ollj‏ @ollj Mar 28
        Replying to @Krooked777 @thegreenrobby and

        the tv-y version is neathttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_6c64HQCBmo …

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. End of conversation
      1. Mandaliet‏ @teiladnam Mar 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The ending of that really confused me when I was in 5th grade.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Louis Tennant‏ @tennant_louis Mar 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I still don't understand what that ending was tbh.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Kimmy P‏ @shocKimmy Mar 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The part where they run away & find themselves in Christmastown or the part where they euthanize a baby?

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Tangerine  🍊‏ @tannerthequeen Mar 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @witchmxm

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3.  🔮witch mom 🦇‏ @witchmxm Mar 28
        Replying to @tannerthequeen @TheOnion

        STOP

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Caroline‏ @cargrrr Mar 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @WriteOnSteph hahahaha

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Deadmond 👻 🌹‏ @FireyRedmond Mar 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The Giver succccccccked though

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Weary Pirates‏ @Gomer46 Mar 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yeah, the ending sucked, something about a sled, real let down.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. puppygiraffe58‏ @puppygiraffe58 Mar 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        wtf was the ending? didint he just go down a hill holding a baby and christmas music

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. RinguMcWingu  👺 🎃‏ @RingoMcWingo Mar 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I remember that. Such a letdown. My friend came up with this theory: Jonas is in a dream. The Christmas music coming from the house is the sound of his alarm clock, as he's waking up from the dream.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. ari‏ @ariansalimy Mar 28
        Replying to @RingoMcWingo @TheOnion

        I read all 4 giver books, it’s all explained in book 4

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. RinguMcWingu  👺 🎃‏ @RingoMcWingo Mar 28
        Replying to @ariansalimy @TheOnion

        There's three more?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. ari‏ @ariansalimy Mar 28
        Replying to @RingoMcWingo @TheOnion

        Yeah, the last one came out in 2012!

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. RinguMcWingu  👺 🎃‏ @RingoMcWingo Mar 28
        Replying to @ariansalimy @TheOnion

        I read the first one in the eighth grade (2013). I swear, the teacher never told us that.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. ari‏ @ariansalimy Mar 28
        Replying to @RingoMcWingo @TheOnion

        I think I found an audiobook of it and proceeded to buy all 4 books. Of course not physical copies

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      8. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info