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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 27

    Report: Sharks To Only Kill 10 People This Year But One Of Them Will Be You https://trib.al/4qWbejt pic.twitter.com/pQZI6NlauM

    8:23 AM - 27 Mar 2018
    • 1,354 Retweets
    • 4,981 Likes
    • leiron9 Yuli Azul3 jenna Nataliethakie RBL2 ScarBOOrough Fairy nidhi 𝕰𝖚𝖗𝖔𝖕𝖆 🗡 disasterpiece
    118 replies 1,354 retweets 4,981 likes
      1. Jason Kirk‏Verified account @JasonKirkSBN Mar 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/f5j0lgGeqV

        0 replies 4 retweets 112 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Miriam Goldstein‏ @MiriamGoldste Mar 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Miriam Goldstein Retweeted The Onion

        Omg @TheOnion is trolling @WhySharksMatterhttps://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/978653657867739137 …

        Miriam Goldstein added,

        The OnionVerified account @TheOnion
        Report: Sharks To Only Kill 10 People This Year But One Of Them Will Be You https://trib.al/4qWbejt  pic.twitter.com/pQZI6NlauM
        1 reply 2 retweets 16 likes
      3. Dr. David Shiffman‏Verified account @WhySharksMatter Mar 27
        Replying to @MiriamGoldste @TheOnion

        I love it

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. mat.thew‏ @ColossalTree Mar 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Show me the way to go home...im tired and i want to go to bed...

        1 reply 0 retweets 19 likes
      3. Niklas K. Lagerstedt‏ @KronanN Mar 27
        Replying to @ColossalTree @TheOnion

        🎵I had a little drink about an hour ago, and it went right to my head...🎵

        0 replies 0 retweets 14 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Brian Lambert  🎃‏ @stink_dumb Mar 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ridiculous. I'm not even going to be anywhere that there are *shark emerges from toilet and excitedly feeds*

        0 replies 1 retweet 25 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Elizabeth‏ @Elizabeth_42i Mar 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/rUcB4h2o3i

        1 reply 6 retweets 54 likes
      3.  🎃Spooky Space Snek 💀‏ @Larping_idiot Mar 27
        Replying to @Elizabeth_42i @TheOnion

        I need a link for this gif

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Elizabeth‏ @Elizabeth_42i Mar 27
        Replying to @Larping_idiot @TheOnion

        Just search land shark from the GIF option

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. paddy mawhinney‏ @paddymaw Mar 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Please don’t say that. Since seeing Jaws when I was 12, I have been convinced that a shark would end up killing me.

        3 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
      3. Debonics‏ @DeborahLenoreS1 Mar 27
        Replying to @paddymaw @TheOnion

        look the year Jaws came out my parents lived on the beautiful Chesapeake Bay and we didn't go into the water that summer..or even take baths

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. the spookiest lime on the internet‏ @nibbble_ Mar 27
        Replying to @DeborahLenoreS1 @paddymaw @TheOnion

        yes i am also afraid a shark will jump out of my shower drain and devour me

        2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. Ronda Zwierz  🇨🇦‏ @PunnedIt55 Mar 27
        Replying to @nibbble_ @DeborahLenoreS1 and

        A buddy of mine was taking a scuba test in a pool a few days after seeing that movie. When one of his friends tossed a plastic shark into the pool he apparently got out so fast it looked like he levitated!

        2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      6. paddy mawhinney‏ @paddymaw Mar 27
        Replying to @PunnedIt55 @nibbble_ and

        Haha. Actually laughed out loud on a wet train platform! Don’t do that very often on a Wednesday morning. Cheers.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      7. End of conversation
      1.  ⭕️use your VOICES ⭕️‏ @AlexPoarch Mar 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The visions fortold of the one that will come for me...pic.twitter.com/rAjsVHLqBN

        0 replies 1 retweet 14 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tiny-Handed POTUS‏ @WeedyMcSmokey Mar 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/0f87nLI8f5

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. FortGeek‏ @FortGeek Mar 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/0jIPTn0uR2

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Niklas K. Lagerstedt‏ @KronanN Mar 27
        Replying to @FortGeek @TheOnion

        Somebody should make a short film where a great white gets attacked by a blonde college girl while swimming at night.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. FortGeek‏ @FortGeek Mar 27
        Replying to @KronanN @TheOnion

        Steven Spielberg presents: LEGS.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. End of conversation

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