Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 23

    Apple Recalls Thousands Of Earbuds That Unexpectedly Bloomed https://trib.al/JEwKMW5 pic.twitter.com/yWWAdOYYBk

    1:49 PM - 23 Mar 2018
    • 868 Retweets
    • 4,693 Likes
    • Springphone Gianluca Bruno Gloriaglorida Phil Orde Chariot Choogle MikeZ Emmy Pratt what River
    38 replies 868 retweets 4,693 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Gabriel Insana‏ @hoodedgardener Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The Onion: “Guys please click the links to our site when we post our articles please please please I’m begging you” Also The Onion: *posts an article that has no content, just the header and image you can see without clicking the link*

        1 reply 0 retweets 34 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Ur Dumber?‏ @UR_Dumber Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        No wonder I've been seeing so many cauliflower ears lately!

        0 replies 0 retweets 16 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. ORCA7‏ @Orca7Tweet Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ear huggers. #RidleyScott

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. SleepyAmazon‏ @SleepyAmazon Mar 23
        Replying to @Orca7Tweet @TheOnion

        In your head, no one can hear you scream

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Emkyo‏ @emkyo Mar 23
        Replying to @SleepyAmazon @Orca7Tweet @TheOnion

        ..and then you give birth chest buster style to new Mac Minis afterwards 😂🙈pic.twitter.com/FBRGsqBV0V

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. ORCA7‏ @Orca7Tweet Mar 23
        Replying to @emkyo @SleepyAmazon @TheOnion

        ew. 😝

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      6. Emkyo‏ @emkyo Mar 23
        Replying to @Orca7Tweet @SleepyAmazon @TheOnion

        It's just wishful thinking. The whole @Apple community has been screaming for a new Mac Mini for years, of course... crickets. 🙄😭 Looking at you @tim_cook 😬

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. ORCA7‏ @Orca7Tweet Mar 23
        Replying to @emkyo @SleepyAmazon and

        Aren’t they now way too big—? Noreally. Shouldn’t they be nano watch size by now? Shouldn’t they blast outta his chest like shotgun pellets? 🤪

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      8. Emkyo‏ @emkyo Mar 24
        Replying to @Orca7Tweet @SleepyAmazon and

        True.😜pic.twitter.com/dOaFcy0BLT

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      9. End of conversation
      1. Joe‏ @HeadbandSZN Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        only apple could do something this stupid

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Brinda Thomas‏ @mc2maven Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'd still buy it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Intertubes9000‏ @Intertubes9000 Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is the most beautiful dad joke I've seen in some time. It's a great time to be alive.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 50 shades of Okay‏ @scaglioned Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Depends on how much crap they are fed

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Arizona Joñes‏ @zonacjones Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        At least they won't fall out of your ear while running.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. PaperthinMonsters 🏳️‍🌈‏ @ThinMonsters Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        about time. i had mine in my pocket when they started to bloom. know what happened? cut the tip of my dick clean off. so frustrating!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info