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The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 23

    U.S. Military Announces Plan To Consolidate All Wars Into Final, Epic Battle https://trib.al/mpXFund pic.twitter.com/oT4aAHNXa0

    8:56 AM - 23 Mar 2018
    • 546 Retweets
    • 2,261 Likes
    • SoulBladerX griffin hayes _____ Bronco Bob Diana Hamphrey ResistanceNotFutile Aidan Springs Nu-Year is not metal i hope they remember you
    50 replies 546 retweets 2,261 likes
      1. Spooky Closet Hippie  🎃 🏳️‍🌈‏ @jake_meacham Mar 23
        Replying to @TBCNoah @TheOnion

        The more I think about it, the more I realize microtransactions that consistently build into more and more expensive transactions are just another part of the war simulation.

        1 reply 0 retweets 14 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. I’m Like a Stable Genius Sandi Taylor‏ @AlphaHuskyAlpha Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion @k8tdid2

        Yeah, the Onion just can’t compete with real life anymore. I saw this and shrugged for a second, because it seemed like the actual plan from this point on. Right? This is a joke... right?pic.twitter.com/w4YjE6ZXj2

        1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
      3. #ShePersisted‏ @k8tdid2 Mar 23
        Replying to @AlphaHuskyAlpha @TheOnion

        My sentiments exactly 😳

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Eric Walters‏ @EricTWalters Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Why not just throw it in as the climax of the new Avengers movie? That’s the ending we all deserve. Thanos triumphantly putting on a blonde toupee because it has the final infinity stone.

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
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      1. Greg Amey‏ @spinfreezone Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Armageddon.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Justin Phillips‏ @jpeterphillips Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is it gonna be directed by Michael Bay?

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Night Gallery Enjoyer‏ @iantrobertson Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “Last summer, you thought you saw the last of war... But we were Just. Getting. Started... ‘SUPER-WAR II: Return to Korea’ coming fall 2019”

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Bill Albert‏ @November_11_9 Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That idea was a Dr Who story.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. bofadez italian cuisine 🇧🇪 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿‏ @peoncheck Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I hope this is gonna be available live payperview

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Joseph Huben‏ @jhuben1 Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Thank goodness Bolton’s on the job!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jeff Feldstein‏ @ljfeldy Mar 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        An omnibus war?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Avant-guerre‏ @Pruit_Igoe Mar 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Evangelical Christians celebrate.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Wilfred  🍿‏ @captain_waffl Mar 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        YEAH FORTNIIIIIIIITE

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. S0LlDUS‏ @S0lldus Mar 24
        Replying to @TheOnion @LibertyPrimeUSA

        Finally.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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