Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 22

    Man Constantly Blaming His Problems On Fact That He’s On Fire https://trib.al/Y3nnxC5 pic.twitter.com/iL4LfKQHeF

    8:26 AM - 22 Mar 2018
    • 170 Retweets
    • 1,065 Likes
    • slenderman 👻🎃🦇 Planet Caravan Lil Hands Ben Grant Unemployed Hobo Blake Hatbox Drew Michael Knapp Budywudy9 .
    20 replies 170 retweets 1,065 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Walter(Owen's Grandp‏ @walterowensgrpa Mar 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Typical liberal’s ,, always making excuses for they’re poor decisions !!!

        2 replies 0 retweets 42 likes
      3. Gabriel Insana‏ @hoodedgardener Mar 22
        Replying to @walterowensgrpa @TheOnion

        Like misspelling the word “their”?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa‏ @aaaaaa34a121234 Mar 22
        Replying to @hoodedgardener @walterowensgrpa @TheOnion

        Like falling for extremely obvious bait?

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Sugar Booger  🐶‏ @tommitom24 Mar 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        it's always me, me, me with this guy

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. im still mus1k btw‏ @WA5Dmusic Mar 22
        Replying to @Tanvirxyz @TheOnion

        I can make this shit in Microsoft paintpic.twitter.com/MsooF5XS1r

        This media may contain sensitive material. Learn more
        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Graphic Designer‏ @Tanvirxyz Mar 22
        Replying to @WA5Dmusic @TheOnion

        hahaha..lol..Thats why graphic designers don't use Microsoft Paint..

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. im still mus1k btw‏ @WA5Dmusic Mar 22
        Replying to @Tanvirxyz @TheOnion

        yes but nobody is going to pay for something that a 5th grader can make.

        2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. Graphic Designer‏ @Tanvirxyz Mar 22
        Replying to @WA5Dmusic @TheOnion

        Logo design is not something that reflects your skill. It will reflect your creativity..& someone already had paid me for that 5th grader..Thats why i use them on my profile.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. End of conversation
      1. tim‏ @AntiChangeling Mar 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        give a rest, john we know you're on fire, you NEVER shut up about it

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Terry O'Connell‏ @Toco1973O Mar 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I can kinda see his point.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Steve Roth‏ @SRoth0508 Mar 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sounds like he's has an incinderary personality

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. valshiii(scary)‏ @Valshi_II Mar 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        understandable

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. DERRICK KINSEY‏ @stdpderrick Mar 22
        Replying to @TheOnion @kaitlynelam

        @KyleSaad

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Alex Preiss‏ @AlexPreiss4 Mar 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Clear Mind, Warm Hearthttps://www.redbubble.com/people/alex4444/works/4073401-clear-mind-warm-heart?asc=u&p=framed-print …

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. CypresHeadRanch‏ @CypresHeadRanch Mar 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sometimes it's like someone took a knife baby edgy and cut a 6 inch valley through the middle of my skull

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. ಠ_ರೃ‏ @00Schleppin Mar 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Republican blaming fact that he’s on fire on Hillary Clinton

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info