Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 20

    ‘As You Can See, They Are Quite Harmless,’ Says Uber Representative Guiding Detective Through Warehouse Of Sleeping Autonomous Cars https://trib.al/U60iUHO pic.twitter.com/4Gyh4WHj5S

    1:48 PM - 20 Mar 2018
    • 304 Retweets
    • 1,535 Likes
    • OrganicAllergyRelief Tom Clancy Byrnes nothing creative Spookzinssie ☭ Pierre-Simon Laplace J O S É  T A Y M A N I ElizasL “Female Assistant” 🕷️Sandra🕸️Leigh🎃 Vampire Giorno appreciation account ( 💖 AC)
    14 replies 304 retweets 1,535 likes
      1. Max a secas‏ @Max_a_secas Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Life always finds a way

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Alex Preiss‏ @AlexPreiss4 Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        All the cars were sleeping harmlessly because they stayed up late to watch "Christine" on TV.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Empirical‏ @Empirical18 Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I think The Onion should start doing serious pieces covering Trump. (or should have long ago). When even "fake news" doesn't have to lie to make a story ridiculous... well that's just hilarious. And a cause for suicidal depression...

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. drubio‏ @de_rubio Mar 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #NotTheOnionAnymore #WhenRealityBeatsFiction you just can't come up with these kinds of things.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Murph‏ @MyNameIsMurph Mar 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @evanrachelwood remind you of anything?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Kim Oppalfens‏ @TheWMIGuy Mar 21
        Replying to @TheOnion

        RT @TheOnion: ‘As You Can See, They Are Quite Harmless,’ Says Uber Representative Guiding Detective Through Warehouse Of Sleeping Autonomous Cars https://trib.al/U60iUHO  pic.twitter.com/n73OIZQrQO 😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. LetsGetReal‏ @damnUJones Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/jQ3iUU4JAO

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. VP‏ @ErudVP Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And so is every serial killer when he is asleep... Heck, a person is dead . These cars have to be banned !

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Lee Mingione‏ @lmingione Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hey there at the Onion.. how about a little satire involving crypto coins.. there’s a lot of BS to mine

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Philip C James‏ @PhilipCJames Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        To be a pedestrian or a cyclist in Arizona is to take your life in your hands every time you cross the road. How many pedestrians are knocked-down by cars driven by Arizonans who greet them with surprise or suspicion, compared to by autonomous vehicles? #Newsnight #UGV #Uber

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Long Duck Dong‏ @Gotti525 Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ummm......timing?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3.  🇬🇧 Cheese Gestapo  🇿🇼‏ @laughingdrag Mar 20
        Replying to @Gotti525 @TheOnion

        I know, man. It couldn't have been better.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Long Duck Dong‏ @Gotti525 Mar 20
        Replying to @laughingdrag @TheOnion

        There's nothing funny about a humanless car killing a homeless woman. Nothing.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. YawarAmin.re‏ @yawaramin Mar 20
        Replying to @Gotti525 @laughingdrag @TheOnion

        Was she homeless? Anyway, seems she stepped out into traffic from a completely dark median, according to latest reports. Almost impossible for even a human to avoid (and as it happened, a human was in the car, a backup driver in case of emergencies, & he didn’t see her either)

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. Mr. YourDoomino‏ @MrOdomino Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is how horror movies start.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. CirCumSpice‏ @CReTheIll Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Saw the demo roll out of the Uber wifi remote driver on @nyse channel today also llloollolo

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info