Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 20

    Report: We Don’t Make Any Money If You Don’t Click The Fucking Link https://trib.al/Zea0BaD pic.twitter.com/7z6vjBOVty

    11:36 AM - 20 Mar 2018
    • 464 Retweets
    • 1,824 Likes
    • t e d d y ThirstySprout Reminiscent Merce Cardus Noah Jonesy nothing creative Pierre-Simon Laplace ⎝ COUID ⎠🌀| CITIFIELD, NY
    46 replies 464 retweets 1,824 likes
      1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 20

        Subscribe to our newsletter; it’s the least you could fucking do. https://trib.al/Gx9lgkv pic.twitter.com/gUt66eoATU

        10 replies 72 retweets 603 likes
        Show this thread
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Bob‏ @BobHume3 Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Liked. I've just commented about liking it too. What was the other thing?

        1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
      3. Boast Mode‏ @JordanaryBlue Mar 20
        Replying to @BobHume3 @TheOnion

        Something about the dude from Zelda. Idk. Sounds like you got it all covered. Carry on.

        1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
      4. Bob‏ @BobHume3 Mar 20
        Replying to @JordanaryBlue @TheOnion

        Hail Jesus!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. ahnqir‏ @ahnqir Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        this inspired me to whitelist the onion on my adblocker

        0 replies 0 retweets 21 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Nolan Whitaker‏ @nolanwhitaker Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        cc: @SavedYouAClick

        0 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Scott‏ @scottk1350 Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Mark Zuckerburg: ‘We don’t make any money if we don’t sell your info’

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. in‏ @c_brads65 Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @virenooch I'm dying

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. SpookiestPanda‏ @FoulestPanda Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        NO CURSING ON MY C H R I S T I A N S E R V E R

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Joe Garrick‏ @JGarrick62 Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Alright already. I clicked the fucking link. Sheesh.

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. REGISTER to VOTE‏ @Starwoman_7 Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Report: posting the same content twice is not going to make people click the link...

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Casey Wallace‏ @xcwallx Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @timmyrao this was directed at us

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Gabriel Insana‏ @hoodedgardener Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/V6BBhJ67g6

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. TJ  🗽‏ @deodorantdream Mar 20
        Replying to @hoodedgardener @TheOnion

        What does this have to do with anything

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Steven‏ @Steven8120 Mar 20
        Replying to @deodorantdream @hoodedgardener @TheOnion

        Something along the lines of they tell you what to do and you do it.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Gabriel Insana‏ @hoodedgardener Mar 20
        Replying to @Steven8120 @deodorantdream @TheOnion

        No it's just a random GIF that has nothing to do with anything because they said the comments don't matter at all lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. Andrew HN‏ @RainHNg Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Note to self: got to click the fucking link after clicking the funny headline

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Steve‏ @Steven5684 Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Let the onion eat cake

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. BSmart Odin‏ @OdinBsmart Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They don't allow smart people on Facebook...that if just for those like MANIPULATION and GIVING AWAY their DETAILS.... they get mad...when you are not who they think you are.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info