Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Mar 19

    Dancing Machine Overheats https://trib.al/Gc9rBzZ pic.twitter.com/FlP70siNg2

    7:57 AM - 19 Mar 2018
    • 355 Retweets
    • 2,510 Likes
    • M. Jablonski Ukri Tampio Keenaan Megan Palmer William Harris Billy Hereford sip sip Christopher Simonsen Rich Eats Dumplings 🥟
    18 replies 355 retweets 2,510 likes
      1. MrMichael: Travelin' Man‏ @mrmichael21 Mar 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That the guy from 'Super Seducer'?

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Michael Pullano‏ @MPullano16 Mar 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Enoremous23 proof not all wedding dancing machines are as reliable as you.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Erick Norem III‏ @Enoremous23 Mar 31
        Replying to @MPullano16 @TheOnion

        It's not easy being an above average wedding dancer. Lots of behind the scenes preparation and conditioning goes into each performance. This guy is an amateur.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. clo‏ @gardettoslover Mar 24
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @ashlynnbelizzle me every single time at ricks

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. boingboingbbeep‏ @boingboingbbeep Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Area 58 year old man, after riding 58 miles to the college bar on his bicycle, yells, where's the college girls?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ken‏ @KublaKen Mar 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wow, those girls tore through that guy without breaking a sweat!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ben Trolenn and 105 others‏ @BTrolenn Mar 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is why DANCING is DANGEROUS, and should be ILLEGALL

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. DJ Nimbus‏ @FreestyleWild Mar 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Do da do do!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Qevin‏ @georgeperturbed Mar 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        it's electric! boogie woogie oogie oogie.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. rob cooper‏ @crcooprob Mar 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not funny! He collapsed and died moments after this pic was taken...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Diana Dee‏ @DianaDee16 Mar 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😆😆😆

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. AW‏ @AndrewWeeraratn Mar 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        These are the voters who vote against their self-interest celebrating Trump tax cuts to the wealthiest few & social safety net cuts to those who vote against their self-interest.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Hello, it's me! Orangina.‏ @PCNexbie Mar 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is this post malone?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. LeanneJo‏ @sherryj341 Mar 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not the dancing machine 😢pic.twitter.com/5FjTVzHwjr

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Captain Craptastic‏ @captncraptastic Mar 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        it happens

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. That One Guy‏ @thatoneguy2440 Mar 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Nuuuuuuuu what will we do!?pic.twitter.com/T9jyFz6gul

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info